BattleField
by KyeleyMarie
Summary: The first time Olivia Benson has some fun may end her up in trouble at work with the new detective and Cragen! Will she be able to do some damage control to the situation or only make it worst?
1. Chapter 1

BattleField 

It was a Friday night, Olivia had another long week full of sensitive cases which each victim needed her help and support. She sat at the bar alone sipping on her fourth glass of red wine. She was soon distracted from her thoughts when she heard a deep southern accent order a beer. She turned around to see a blonde haired blue eyed female standing a few feet away from her.

She looked her up and down, she could tell she wasn't from around here. She was wearing tight dark blue jeans with a white long sleeved shirt and cowboy boots. Distracted again she heard the southern women speak to her

"Hi."

"Hey." Olivia immediately said after the interaction.

"Long day?"

"More like long week."

"I understand that." Silence grew between them. "You from around here?"

"Born and raised."

"Well can I buy you a drink?"

Olivia thought to herself. She wasn't one to have a one night stand but she was lonely and was long over due.

"Sure." She smiled.

Over the next hour Olivia and the blonde women

Shared some drinks and small chat.

"You wanna come back to my place?" the blonde woman asked.

"Well I don't even know your name yet." Olivia smiled.

"It's… Molly. You?"

"Um..Olive." she paused "lets go." She said as she stood up.

As they walked out the bar the only thing Olivia could think of was why she lied about her name. Then again thought it was a good idea just in case this woman was a lunatic or something.

They hailed a cab and the southern woman told the taxi where to drop them off.

Molly reached her apartment and before she could open the door all the way Olivia's lips had meet her own. She moaned in surprise. She could still taste the wine that lingered on Olivia's tongue. She pushed the door open and threw her keys over by the kitchen counter. Olivia kicked the door closed with her foot and began to undue Molly's pants. Molly was against a wall and stated to unbutton Olivia's shirt. They kept moving towards the bedroom. Olivia threw Molly on the bed, she threw off her pants and climbed on top of Molly. She began to kiss her neck. Molly unhooked her bra and immediately Olivia yanked the bra off her body leaving her completely naked and exposed in front of the brunette women. Olivia deeply kissed the women rubbing her body against the other woman. She slowly moved to the woman's breast. Slowly she sucked the right breast while cupping and tugging the left nipple. She reached down below and separated the women's legs, slowly she inserted one finger into the women's slit and started a slow rhythm. Soon starting to suck on the woman's clit. Molly moaned with excitement. She soon found her hips moving along with Olivia's rhythm and pace. Shortly Olivia inserted another finger into the woman's hole. She could hear the friendly moans and gasp of air from the other woman. She soon started to quicken the tempo. She knew the other woman was close to climax. She felt the woman grab her head and start to grind on her face. Moments later Molly's walls tensed around Olivia's fingers, her body bucked and her back arched. She let out a loud moan.

Olivia made her way back to Molly's lips. It wasn't long after she found Molly on top of her. Molly pulled Olivia's bra off of her and gently circled her left nipple with her tongue and then the right. She separated Olivia's legs and positioned herself on top of her so that their clits would meet. Slowly and gently she grinded on top of the woman. "Fuck!" the brunette gasped. She then started moving faster and faster, she squeezed the women's left breast with her left hand and her own with her right hand. Olivia soon began to feel her body heat up with bliss. Molly soon climbed down and buried her face in Olivia's clit until she came with a vengeance. She climbed back on top of Olivia and kissed her gently on the lips. They breathed deeply together for a brief moment.

"I should go." Olivia declared.

"So soon?" the southern women said.

"Maybe our paths will cross again soon." She said and smiled while putting her bra on. She soon finished getting dressed. Molly had put on a large Falcons jersey and walked Olivia to the door.

"Goodnight Olive." The blonde women said in the doorway to her apartment.

"Well morning." She smiled.

She walked down the three flights of stairs and into the warm late summer air. She hailed a cab and directed the driver to her apartment. She walked up the stairs and opened the door to her empty apartment. She threw everything down and headed towards the shower. She stepped in the hot shower and soaked her entire body. She couldn't stop thinking about Molly. Nobody had ever made her body do what she did last night. She soaped and rinsed off and tossed on some grey boxers and an old t-shirt. She climbed in bed and soon dosed off still thinking about Molly.

She awakened when she heard her phone ring it was 7am and Cragen's name lit her screen. "Benson" she answered. Cragen had called her in on a new VIP case. She soon got up put on some black slacks a green button down and a black jacket. She quickly fixed her hair and headed out the door. Immediately she picked up a cup of coffee and headed to the station.

When she got to the station everyone was already running around. Cragen apologized for having to cut her weekend short then sent her straight to Bellevue.

It was morning Amanda had been looking forward to for the past month. She got up, took a quick shower, put on some black slacks, a white blouse and a black jacket. She was running a bit late so she quickly put her hair in a messy bun. She grabs the box of her things that she had packed from her desk back in Atlanta and quickly ran out the door. She threw the box in the back seat of her old 96' Chevrolet Impala and headed towards New York's 16th precinct.

By the time she arrived at the precinct it was a mad house. Detectives and uniform officers scrambled around everywhere. Right before leaving the elevator she ran into Captain Cragen.

"Oh Captain, Captain Cragen. I'm Detective Amanda Rollins. You interviewed me last month."

" Well you picked a hell of a first day to start. I'll fill you in later." The captain said.

" You can fill me now!" the eager detective declared. She gave one of the uni officers her box and hopped back on the elevator.

"I'm ready to work."

The captain quickly filled her in about the new case in the car to JFK. When they arrived Fin and Munch had already picked up Roberto DiStasio, and he was already sitting in the back seat of their car.

"What happened?" Cragen asked.

"He was sippin' on chardonnay when we picked his ass up. Thought he was gon' get away with it." Fin explained. Cragen nodded and then introduced Amanda to Fin and Munch.

"Rollins this is Detective Fin Tutuola and Sargent John Munch." They shook hands and greeted each other.

"Now that we're all acquainted lets get this guy back to the precinct." Cragen order.

Olivia got back to the station with the victim at about noon. When she walked into her precinct she immediately felt all eyes on the victim. When she looked around she saw the blonde women she had been with the night before. Her thoughts scrambled and for the first time she didn't know what to do, think or say. Her face became white as if she saw a ghost. Before she could even think, she led the victim to the table in the far right corner of the room. She tried to avoid eye contact with the other women but all they could do is look at each other in sheer terror.

Cragen came out of his office and saw Olivia's face looking at Amanda.

"Rollins." Cragen said.

"Excuse me?" Olivia asked while turning to face Cragen.

"Amanda Rollins. New Detective."

"Amanda?" She asked again.

"Yeah, you know her?"

"uhh.. no." she hesitated to speak.

"Well what did you learn about our victim?"

"What?" she searched his face for answers.

"Our victim? What's her story?" Cragen said more stern this time.

"Ooh umm… her story solid. Single mother hard working immigrated here about three years ago."

"Okay get as much as you can out of her. We're going to need a positive I.D." Cragen said while walking back to his office.

After the conversation ended she immediately went straight to the women's restroom. Luckily a woman was just leaving as she entered allowing her to get her thoughts back together. Yet again soon after she began to piece things together the well know southern accent pierced her ears.

"Olive huh?"


	2. Chapter 2

BattleField 

Chapter 2

Olivia starred at the blonde detective. " Look, I'm… I just… I don't usually do… that." Olivia hesitated to say. "It's fine. I lied too. It happens." Olivia weakly smiled at the young detective, suddenly she felt the warm lips of Amanda on her own. Immediately realizing what was happening Olivia pushed Amanda away. "We can't."

"I'm sorry, I thought..." Amanda turned from Olivia to hide her now pink cheeks.

"No it's just… I can't with you." She sighed, " I just can't with someone I work with. Not again." She said then stormed out of the bathroom.

Amanda walked back over to her desk before she got the chance to sit down she heard her name called and saw Captain Cragen motioning her over to his office. Once in his office they observed the perp and his lawyer interact on the opposite side of the glass. The sound of high heels clacking on the hard slate floors brought the heads of the Captain, Fin, John, and Amanda around to face the tall blonde hair blue eyed ADA Alex Cabot. "What do we have?"

"Alex welcome back to the concrete jungle." The captain voiced.

"How was the Congo?" Fin asked.

"Pray for them." Alex replied "So catch me up." They soon explained to Alex about what had happened in the hotel and at the airport. She then told the detectives to hold him. The Captain introduced Rollins and Cabot before Alex ad himself left to go talk to the Prosecutor.

Amanda went back to her desk to unpack and finish her paperwork. She then found herself watching Olivia cross the room leading the victim to the line up. Olivia could feel eyes watching them she turned to find Amanda starring at her. Their eyes connected for a brief moment, Amanda could instantly feel her cheeks become pink again. She could help but feel embarrassed about what had happened. Trying to distract herself from her mind she buried herself in the paperwork Cragen had given her.

After the positive idea of the perp Cragen called a quit briefing to his entire squad. He then sent Liv and Fin to the M.E.s office for DiStasio's exam. Meanwhile at the house Amanda stated working on DiStasio's timeline.

It was very late by the time Amanda made it back to her apartment. She threw her keys on the kitchen counter and made her way to the shower. After she was clean and in pajamas she sat on her sofa looking out into the city. It was then she started wondering if anyone knew that her and Olivia had had a one night stand. She wondered if everyone was just laughing at her behind her back. And then started thinking hard about what Olivia meant when she said "Not again." Had she previously been in a relationship with one of the detectives? Was she still working with her? Was it a guy? The thoughts she carried made her sick to her stomach. So could eat or sleep, she couldn't even try and concentrate on the paperwork she had brought home. All she did was pace her apartment until early morning. She then changed into some jeans, a blouse and threw on her leather jacket. She stopped at the bodega on her way to the train station to pick up some coffee.

When she got to the station no one was there yet. She was use to being the first one at work. She turned on the lights and started a fresh pot of coffee. She then sat at her desk sipping on coffee and looking over the timeline she had began the previous night. The sound of foot prints brought her head up to see who was coming. Her heart was racing as if she had just finished a marathon. She wanted so badly for it to be Olivia so they could have a moment alone, but then again she didn't. She couldn't even look at Olivia without feeling her anxiety go through the roof none the less talk to her. She breathed a heavy sigh when she realized it was the Captain. "Morning Rollins." The Captain addressed to her as her walked to his office. "Morning." The southern women answered. The station started to flood with detectives and unis and every time she heard heels her heart would start to race and her stomach turned.

Olivia made it back to the station at about 830am. She sat at her desk and began to log into her computer. Amanda couldn't do anything but watch from the coffee pot as she went on with her normal daily routine. She then tied her hardest to act like nothing had happened between the two women. Soon after Olivia finished her coffee she headed out to court. Leaving Amanda once again to breath easy.

It was another long day of working, everyone was packing their things to go home. Amanda was still at her desk finishing up some paperwork when she heard her name called by a familiar voice. "Hey Rollins, wanna come get a drink?" Olivia asked from her desk. "Sure." She answered and grabbed her coat from her chair. The two women walked silently to the elevator. Once the doors closed Olivia immediately leaped on top of Amanda. She kissed the woman long and hard stopping the closeness between them right before the doors reopened. Olivia walked out of the elevator as if nothing had happened. Amanda stood still shocked about what had just happened, confused. "You coming?" Olivia questioned. The blonde detective couldn't find the words. She didn't even know what words to use. The next thing she knew she was walking towards Olivia's car with her.

The short drive around the corner seemed to take hours. Amanda sat there silently dumbfounded. When they got to the bar Olivia spotted John and Fin at a table in the middle of the bar. Amanda sat down and immediately ordered a tequila on the rocks. "You alright Rollins?" John asked. Still not able to form words she nodded.

The night went on as normal. Amanda listened to the conversation between the detectives. She tried her best to stay focused on the conversation at hand but found herself thinking about more important things. It was already passed eleven pm when everyone agreed it was time to get home and rest up for another day.

"I'll drive you home Amanda." Olivia stated.

"Naw it's cool Liv. I'm actually going up that way. I'll drop her off." Fin replied. Olivia nodded and said goodnight to everyone before leaving. Fin and Amanda walked out of the bar and to his car. On the ride to Amanda's apartment it was silent. "You alright?" Fin asked.

"Yeah."

"You sure you been pretty quite all night."

"Just tired." She weakly smiled.

He parked outside Amanda's apartment. Trying hard to stand straight she stumbled out of his car. He quickly got out and helped her to her door.

"Thanks. I guess I shouldn't have had that fourth tequila." She slurred as she opened the door to her apartment. She turned to face her new partner. The tension between the two persons was unbelievable. Amanda didn't know what to say nor was she sober enough to understand but before she could get the words 'goodnight' out Fin kissed her heavy on the lips. Unsure about how she actually felt about this she kissed him back. Their lips parted when Amanda needed air. Although she knew it was wrong she asked

"You wanna come in?"


	3. Chapter 3

BattleField

Chapter 3

Amanda woke up to the sound of her front door closing. It was a bit passed twelve am and she was still on the couch. She realized that she had accidently fallen asleep during the whole ordeal with Fin. She heaved a sigh and turned over to face the back of her sofa. She had fallen asleep and was again awaken by a soft knock on her door at 12:34am. She stumbled across her apartment to the front door. "Who is it?" she slurred. She couldn't hear anything from the buzzing going on in her head. As she flung the door open she accidently slipped and landed on her knees. Olivia gracefully slid down to the floor to help Amanda back to the couch. "You okay?" Olivia asked lying Amanda on the couch. "Just a bit queasy." Amanda mumbled. Amanda began to buck and hold her stomach; Olivia ran and grabbed the nearest trashcan available and held it close to Amanda's face. She held her lose hair back as she regurgitated into the trashcan.

AS soon as Amanda was strong enough Olivia helped her into some sweats and into bed. Olivia got a bottle of water and a bottle of aspirin and placed them on the table beside Amanda's bed. She stood there and looked at the young detective. It was the first time since their night together she saw her relaxed breathing normally. She hated herself for sleeping with Amanda but at the as time she felt that there was something between them. Before she let her mind wonder into her dream world, she grabbed her keys and left the quite apartment.

The morning light woke Amanda up from her slumber. It was 7am and she felt like shit. Unable to remember what happened she sat up and took a couple of the aspirin that were laid out by her bed. She slowly came to her feet and before she could even stand up straight she ran to the bathroom to regurgitate again. Soon after she stood up and started the shower and began to get ready for work. She decided to stop at Starbucks to get a huge cup of coffee for her massive hangover she had.

She was the last detective to enter the precinct and could feel eyes on her. Although Olivia wasn't there she saw Fin's eyes follow her to her desk. "You alright?" Fin questioned Amanda. "Yeah, just a headache is all." She replied while turning on her computer. She felt the silence grow between them it was awkward and she couldn't figure out why. Had something happened between them last night? She thought silently to herself. "Look about last night.." Fin began to say "What happened?" Amanda interrupted. "I uh…. You… threw up on my shoes." Fin hesitated to say. "I'm so sorry! I can't really remember anything from last night." Amanda explained and leaned back in her chair. "It's all good. But you owe me some shoes." Fin joked and went back to his desk. He was thankful that she didn't remember what had happened.

Olivia walked back into the precinct from court to see IAB leaving the Captains office. She tossed her jacket on her desk and went to see what was going on. Amanda followed Olivia with her eyes and slightly watched her and Captain talk in his office. Although she couldn't hear what they were saying the intense look on Olivia's face told her it wasn't a nice conversation. Minutes later she saw Olivia storm out of the office grab her jacket and head towards the elevators. She began to get up and see what was wrong when she heard her name called. "Rollins Fin go with much looks like Mr. DiStasio just made bail."

It wasn't until later that evening Amanda saw Liv again. She was packing her things to head out when Olivia was just getting back to the precinct. The last detective had already left leaving the two women to alone in the room. Their eyes connected, Olivia couldn't help but think about how beautiful Amanda looked, and even tired she was still stunning. Amanda felt her blue eyes light up, trying to hide the fact that she was excited to see her a turned away to face her desk pretending to pick up some files. She felt Olivia's eyes on her still, she took a deep breath and turned around. "What?" Amanda chuckled. "Uh nothing. You alright?" "Why wouldn't I be?" Amanda eyes widened. Did something happen between them again last night? Why couldn't she remember?

"You were just a bit sick when I left your place last night."

"I thought Fin took me home."

"Uh he did. I-I just wanted to check up on you."

"In the middle of the night?"

"It won't happen again." Olivia said as she grabbed her coat and left.

Shit, Amanda thought to herself, and sat back down at her desk.

It wasn't until the next evening Olivia came walking back to the precinct. Their eyes directly went to each other. Amanda starred eagerly awaiting to hear the results of DiStasio's trial. "We handed the jury a mess the split the baby." Olivia said as she walked to her desk. "He's gonna appeal. He claimed that that perp walk was prejudicial" Amanda stated from her desk.

"Hm I'll take a hit, but with this judge he'll do a year a Rickers on the lesser charge."

"You gotta come over on the Mayflower to let a rape charge stick." Fin stated.

"How'd she take it?" Munch asked

"Hard" Olivia answered. Soon after she sat down the captain called Olivia into his office. Once again all Amanda could do was watch. She tried her hardest not to make it obvious that she was watching, but she could help herself. A few minutes later she noticed Olivia's puffy eyes as she left the precinct. She looked around and no one could put together what had happened.

It was an early night for Amanda. She left work on time, picked up some Chinese, and came home. She was sitting on her sofa in a pair of boxers and a navy blue tank top eating and watching TV when she heard a knock at her door. "Amanda it's Olivia." She heard from the other side. She rushed over to the door and swung it open. Olivia's face was pail and her eyes bloodshot red. "Liv, you alright?" Olivia walked into the apartment, unsure about what to say she turned around and kissed Amanda hard on the lips. Amanda felt the numbness in her kiss. Even their one night stand had more meaning than this kiss. She didn't know what to do or how to feel about the situation she was in. She broke away from Olivia and starred at her now almost black eyes. She could feel the need in Olivia. Amanda led Olivia to the love seat in her living room. She slowly began to remove Olivia's shoes while Olivia removed her jacket and started to unbutton her shirt. Amanda stood up and help unhook Olivia's bra. Only then could she could see how tired she was. She gently kissed the back of her neck and then moved down to her collarbone. She then walk back around, she placed her knee between Olivia's legs and kissed her before moving down to her breast. She gently kissed each one multiple times while unbuttoning her slacks. She slid the pants off to discover her already bare vagina. She kissed up her legs until she directly in front of slit. She gently started licking at her clit and inserted one finger inside of her. She started a slow rhythm; she couldn't help but feel bad. She enjoyed being with Olivia, but not like this. She felt Olivia's walls start to tense around her fingers she pumped harder and harder until she suddenly heard a soft whimper. She looked up and saw Olivia covering her face with her hand. All she could do is look at her. She didn't know what to say or what to do. She got up and attempted to kiss her, but Olivia pushed her so hard that she tripped over her table and hit the back of her head on the floor. Olivia rushed out so fast she didn't notice that Amanda blacked out and was left bleeding on her living room floor.


	4. Chapter 4

BattleField

Chapter 4

Olivia arrived at the precinct a bit later than usual. She looked around "Where's Rollins?" she directed at Fin. "Haven't seen her all morning." Fin answered.

"Liv, caught a case with a twenty year old female raped and beaten, she's on her way to Mercy Hospital. Take Rollins with you." Cragen announced.

"No ones seen Rollins all morning." John spoke.

"Where the hell is she?"

"Haven't seen her since last night." Fin stated.

"Olivia, Munch go to Mercy. Fin find Rollins."

Fin arrived at Amanda's he knocked, but no answer. He called her cell phone, knowing that it's always on, he could hear the ringing through the door and began to bang on the door again. "Come on Rollins!" Fin yelled. He then took a deep breath and kicked the door to her apartment in. He immediately saw her lying on the floor in a pool of her own blood. He called a bus and ran to her side to figure out what had happened.

"Amanda! Amanda! Can you hear me?"

She was reluctant when it came to speaking. Her breathing was short and shallow.

"It's okay Amanda, help is on its way." Fin explained.

Olivia and Munch arrived at the hospital right, as the nurse was finishing up the woman's rape kit. "How is she?" Olivia asked the nurse. "She's moderate. Broken nose, fractured shoulder, a couple broken ribs, but she's alive." Olivia and Munch walked around the curtain to see the African-American women wearing one of the hospital robes. She was still crying when they entered

"Hi I'm Detective-"

"Benson. I know who you are Olivia."

"I'm sorry have we meet before?"

"You've." She stopped and took a deep shaky breath "You've only been working with my mother my entire life."

"I'm sorry I-"

"My name is Kennedy Warner."

Olivia took a deep breath "You're Melinda's daughter."

A long wave of silence entered the room. All Olivia and John could do is stare at the broken girl.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Olivia broke the silence in what seemed to be the entire world.

"I was walking to my apartment. And he grabbed me and hit me in the face with something; I don't know what it was. I blacked out and when I came to he was on top of me. I was face down while he was- while he was raping me. I tried screaming for help, but he stuck his fingers in my mouth to keep me quiet."

"When did the attack happen?"

"I was coming home last from a gig my band was playing at so probably about 1:30 this morning."

"How come you're just getting to the hospital, um"

"Kennedy"

"Kennedy"

"He continued to beat me when he finished and I blacked out again. I woke up to a guy asking me if I was alright and that an ambulance was on its way."

"Have talk to your parents yet?"

"NO! Neither of them could ever find out about this! You canNOT tell my mother about this! Promise me, PROMISE ME neither of you will tell her!"

Olivia looked at John and then back to Kennedy. "Legal you are over eighteen we can't say anything.

"Good."

Amanda regained conciseness in the ER of St. Luke's hospital. "What, what happened?" She asked while trying her best to search the room for a familiar face.

"You were unconscious when I found you at your apartment about two hours ago. How ya feelin?"

"How would you feel?"

"Yeah they said it was a serious concussion. You're lucky a couple more hours bleeding like that you might have had some serious brain damage. I already called the Cap he said take a day."

"What no, I'm fine. I jus need some aspirin."

"Naw, as soon as you're released I had an order to take you directly home." Amanda heaved a heavy sigh. "So you wanna tell me what the hell happened that caused this."

"I just slipped, must have hit my head on my way down." She couldn't bare the thought of telling Fin that she was sleeping with Olivia and it was actually she who caused this to happen. They waited patiently for the doctor to come and discharge her from the hospital. Fin helped her to his car and began the drive back to her apartment.

Back at the precinct Olivia and Munch started to brief the Captain on their current situation.

"Well this is one hell of a mess!" Cragen said

"What do we think we should do?" Munch questioned

"Work the case. She doesn't want Melinda to know we're not going to tell her." Cragen answered

"Cap, we can't just not tell her, we've worked with her for thirteen years." Olivia declared

"Liv she's twenty she doesn't want to tell her family we can't make her. Get her statement and start following up on it. Stay as far away as you can from Melinda. And that's an order."

They both exited Cragen's office; Fin was just getting back to the precinct from dropping Amanda off at her apartment "Hey, just dropped Amanda back at her place."

"What happened?" Olivia's concerned eyes searched Fin's face.

"You didn't get my message? I found her in her apartment lying in a pool of her own blood. Doc said it a concussion. She's back at home, but she had to get fifteen stitches on the back of her head."

"She doin' alright though?"

"Yeah she'll be iight."

"Well you're back just in time. Our victim Melinda's daughter." Munch continued to fill Fin in on their case at hand.

Olivia couldn't help but feel horrible. Was it she who had hurt Amanda? She was scarred and worried and she didn't know why. They were just fuck buddies, no strings attached no feeling. Yet she felt horrible. She unlocked her phone and began to type a message to Amanda 'Hey are you okay? Just heard what happened' with all her might she wanted to press send, but she simply didn't want to know the truth.

"You ready?" John asked Olivia

"What?"

"To talk to Kennedy."

"Yeah. Let's go."

Kennedy was nervously walking around the room looking at the clock every ten seconds. When Olivia and Munch walked in and she almost had a heart attack.

"Can I go now she asked?"

"Soon, we just need some more information before you leave." Olivia said

"Look, I told you what I know. I just want to go home."

"Do you remember anything about your attacker?"

"No! He was wearing this mask and… all I know is that he had brown eyes."

"What did the mask look like?"

She sat down at the table with Olivia "I don't know like a monster. It was red with this yellow straw hair attached to it. It had the worst evil smile on its face. Every time I close my eyes I see him. Looking at me, enjoying the worst moments of my life."

"Anything else about him?"

"He was tall maybe 6'1 or 6'2. He had large-" she swallowed hard "Large hands." She began to sob again.

"Kennedy I know this is hard, but you need to tell your parents."

"NO!" She stood up and began pacing again "If the find out they'll never look at me the same again. They'll never thing of me the same again. They'll worry themselves to death. I'm their ONLY child, their pride and joy. How do tell your parents that a person you don't even know has destroyed you! NO! Now if there's no more questions I would like to go home!"

Olivia and Munch walked back to their desk.

"Well she's definitely her mothers child." Munch implied.

"Head-strong and smart." Olivia said.

"How she doin?" Fin asked

"Wrecked." Olivia said

"Well I just got off the phone with some of her professors at NYU. They all say she's a great student. The only thing that seemed odd is that she's majoring in Medicine and Music."

"Okay so she's a double major" Olivia mentioned

"Well usually someone whose double majoring would choose Music and Dance or Medicine and Psychology. Medicine and Music just don't go together. Like Michael Jackson and children." Munch joked.

"Something else is going on with this girl. People just don't keep these kinds of secrets away from their parents. She mentioned she was apart of band. Lets try and see what they know about her relationship between her and her parents.

Amanda arrived home and immediately took one of the painkillers she was given from her doctor. She looked down at the stain on her floor, all she could think about was how she could have died that simply. She didn't know how to feel. She was anger, confused, upset, understanding, all these judgments rushed through her head all at the same time. She took a deep breath walked to her kitchen and pulled out a bottle of whiskey and a glass cup. Her emotions were to flustered right now to try and deal with them so she began to drink. She drank until she literally couldn't drink anymore. A few hours had passed and she had finished her bottle of whiskey. She then dosed off into slumber on her couch.

Olivia and Fin meet up with Kennedy's band mates at a near by coffee shop where they're know to hang out in. The walked up to the counter and asked if they've seen any of the four members they were looking for.

"Well there's skreech but the rest of them are probably in classes." The man pointed to the male sitting at a table by the window.

"Skreech?" Fin asked

"Real names Ian Jackmanne" the young man said.

"Hey Ian" Olivia called as Fin and her walked over to the table where the 5'11 skinny brown haired blue eyed young man was seated. He was wearing a green, blue, and red flannel shirt with dark blue skinny jeans and black converses.

"Who are you?" he asked

"You don't look like a Skreech kind of guy to me" Fin commented.

"It's my stage name from my band Falling Angels. You guys fans" he smiled.

"Not really, NYPD. Detective Benson, Detective Tutuola. We need to ask you some questions about one of your band mates; Kennedy Warner." Olivia stated.

"Ken, she's awesome! Smart, beautiful and one hell of a guitar player!"

"So she plays in your band?" Olivia asked.

"Naw she's vocals. Nikki in lead guitarist."

"How many members are in this band?" Fin questioned.

"Well there's Dot and-"

"Real names" Olivia interjected.

"Sorry. Vocals is Ken, I play drums, Cooper plays keys, Nikki plays guitar, and Jack plays bass."

"What do you know about Kennedys relationship with her parents?" Olivia asked.

"Well all anybody knows is that Her mom works a lot and her dad plays saxophone. Apparently her family is paying for her education. That's why she's double majoring. Her folks didn't want her to major in Music. They said it wasn't a "real" major so she told them she was majoring in Medicine, but really she does more for her music degree than her medicine one. I know if her parents found out they'd freak though!"

"Why you say that?" Fin questioned.

"We've all heard her arguing on the phone with her folks."

"Other than education have you ever heard them arguing over anything else?" Olivia asked.

"Not that I know of, but you should ask her roommate Libby."

Olivia and Fin walked back to Fin's car. "That was a waste of time." Olivia spoke.

"Yeah, well we'll talk to the roommate tomorrow it's getting late. Maybe the new guy will help us come up with something."

"New guy?" Olivia starred at Fin. He stopped in his tracks and search the detectives face. She didn't know yet. "Some rookie from Narcotics starts tomorrow."

Olivia's eyes darkened to an almost black color. Her face showed more than she wanted to say. Fin could feel the hairs on the back of his neck rise from the look on her face. He hated that he was the one to break the bad news to her, and even worst that they had a long drive back to the precinct together.

The drive was deadly silent. You could actual feel the awkwardness in the car. When the finally arrived back at the precinct Olivia took off up the stairs to Cragen's office.

"We're hiring a another new detective?!" Olivia yelled.

"We're already sinking here Liv! I'm not gonna let us drown!" He yelled back. "It's about time you learn how to play with others Olivia."

She slowly walked out of his office and headed for her desk. She sat down and starred over at Amanda's desk. She wanted to go and see her, but she was scarred she hadn't responded to her from early that day. Maybe she was pissed maybe not. Olivia decided to just let it be and go home.

Olivia got to her apartment and went straight to the shower and let herself soak under the warm flowing water and think about the day, but mostly all she could think about was Amanda. She tried her best to shake her off her mind and finished her shower. She then threw on some old yoga pants and a purple tank top. She popped a pot pie in her oven and then snuggled on the couch with Kennedy's case file. She starred down at the words, but could read a thing. She went over to her window and looked out into the city. She grabbed her food out the oven and put it on the counter.

Knock Knock Knock. Olivia knew who it was she was excited yet terrified to open the door. She took a deep breath and was ready to Amanda at her door. She messed with her hair a bit to make it look like she wasn't a complete mess and opened the door. Her heart almost collapsed when he saw

"Elliot."


	5. Chapter 5

BattleField

Chapter 5

Olivia couldn't help but stare at Elliot with tears in her eyes. He went into give her a hug and she declined.

"You left" she swallowed her tears "without even saying goodbye."

"Liv I'm-"

"You left me."

They starred at one another for what seemed like a lifetime.

"I'm sorry." Elliot whispered.

"Why are you here El? I haven't heard from you in months and you show up at my house cause you're sorry."

"I didn't want to make the same mistake twice. I'm leaving New York in the morning. Kathy and I are moving to Arizona." The tears started to flow down Olivia's face. She had lost control and couldn't hold them back any longer. "She'd been talking about starting over again with Eli and raising him in a new place. And well I agree with her. We need a new start."

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Olivia wailed, "For months I called you, emailed, text and nothing! Absolutely NOTHING FROM YOU! And then I hear you put your papers in. You just quit on us on everything! You could have talk to me El. I was your partner!"

"For better or for worse remember." Elliot chimed in.

"For better or for worse." She cried. As she wiped the tears from her face she studied her old partner for the last time "Goodbye Elliot." She exhaled and closed her front door.

* * *

Amanda was the fist detective to arrive in the squad room. She turned on the coffee pot and sat down at her desk. She had mixed feeling when it came to seeing Olivia. She was still upset, confused, and a bit frightened of her. She shook away the thoughts and started to review the case file on her desk about Kennedy Warner.

"Welcome back Rollin." The deep voice said. She looked up and smiled "Thanks Captain."

"You sure you're feeling up to everything today?"

"I'm fine Cap."

"The other will fill you in." he implied and walked to his office. The other detectives all welcomed her back and begin to settle in for the day. Olivia walked in and it felt as if the whole room got silent. Amanda could feel her eyes burning trying to keep them on her case file. Olivia took a deep breath and walked over to Rollins desk. "Hey can I talk to you?" she whisphered.

For the first time since her "accident" Blue eyes found dark brown. Amanda wasn't expecting to see the hurt in Olivia's eyes, she felt sorry for the detective. "Sure" she said and followed the women down the hallway to the empty interrogation room.

"What's up Liv?" she asked with the perfect amount of concern in her voice to allow Olivia to breath easy again. "I'm sorry about the other night. I didn't mean to do what I did the other night. I was just so upset and flustered. You did deserve any of that and I'm-"

"Sorry, I know. It's okay Olivia. Shit happens." Olivia half smiled at the detective before leaving the room. Amanda stayed and thought about what had happened. Still none of her questions answered she turned on her heels and walked back to her desk.

Olivia walked back to her desk to find Fin talking to a new face. "Detectives meet Nick Amaro, a transfer from narcotics and warrants. Amaro you're not undercover anymore go get cleaned up and Fin will fill you in on the case." Cragen ordered. "Liv any leads on the case yet?"

"Nope. I'm on my way to talk to the roommate and the rest of the band."

"Good. Rollins go with."

"Sure thing."

* * *

Olivia and Amanda knocked on the door of room 323 the room of Kennedy Warner and Libby Schamitz. A young tall woman opened the door with her black-rimmed glasses on her light brown curly hair in a high ponytail and wearing knee high socks with black yoga shorts and an oversized sweater.

"Libby Schamitz?" Amanda asked.

"Yeah."

"NYPD, we wanted to talk to you about your roommate Kennedy Warner. Can we come in?"

"Sure." She opened her door wide enough to allow access for the detectives to enter. "What she do this time?"

"What do you mean?" Olivia questioned her.

"Well this isn't the first time NYPD has shown up at our door."

"She'd been in trouble before?" Amanda inquired.

"Nothing serious she went missing for a week last semester her parents got worried and called the cops. She didn't want to tell them that her band got a gig in Philly. Said she was out of town doing "research". The time before that the campus police brought her back to the dorms cause she decided to get wasted at a frat party. She was nineteen."

"Well this time she not in trouble we just need some information about her relationship with her parents." Olivia disclosed.

"Well I don't really know them, but they're nice. They've argued about school stuff, but other than that they're normal people."

"Do you know if she has any enemies or anyone who would want to hurt her?" Olivia asked.

"None that I know of. Although there was this one guy who was like in love with her early on in our freshman semester, then all of a sudden he like hated her guts. But he's really weird nobody really talks or hangs out with him. He's pretty much a loner."

"And who's the guy" Olivia requested.

" Liam Oliver. You'll probably find him in the Chem lab. Chemistry major."

The detectives went over to the Chemistry department and to their surprise they found him in one of the classrooms doing paperwork.

"Liam Oliver?" Olivia asked

"Yeah?" the red haired green-eyed young man answered.

"Detectives Benson and Rollins. We need to ask you some questions about Kennedy Warner."

"What about her?"

"Like why you all of a sudden started to hate her half way through your freshman year?" Amanda stated.

"Who said I hated her?"

"We've heard some things around campus."

"Is it a crime to dislike someone now?"

"Why the sudden change?"

"Look my mother died that semester. I stopped talking to all my friends and threw myself into my work. Is there something wrong with that?!" Liam yelled. The two detectives look at each other then back at Liam. He was anger just talking about it. His face got red, and he began to shake uncontrollably. The anger in his eyes could raise the hair on anyone's back.

"Well be in touch" Olivia said and signed to Amanda that it was time to go. They exited the building and began to walk back to their car.

"Did you see that?" Amanda asked.

"Yeah, something else happened to that kid last semester. Let's hope we have a record on him."

"With that anger I'd be surprised if we didn't."

* * *

The two ladies got back to the squad room and informed the other detectives on what they had found out. Olivia and Amanda began to research Liam. Munch, Fin, and Nick began to look at the backgrounds of all the men Kennedy had contact with for the past few months.

It was getting late and nothing they found was leading them anywhere. A piercing scream for Olivia had awaken everyone from their work. Olivia's head shot towards the entrance of the squad room. In ran the bruised and bloody body of Kennedy.

"What the hell happened?" Olivia asked in a frantic voice.

"What happened was you said you would protect me! You said you would catch the guy who raped me!" she screamed. Everyone starred unsure about what to do.

"Kennedy what happened to you?

"HE RAPED ME! AGAIN!"

"Oh my god."

The look on each detectives face told the story of what they were all thinking.

"What the hell! Kennedy Marasel Warner!" a familiar voiced protested from behind Kennedy. There her worst nightmare stood. The very person she had been avoiding was starring at her in the face about to cry.

"Mom." Kennedy whimper "Mom I'm so sorry I didn't want to tell you and dad because I knew you'd be so worried and I didn't want to put that pressure on y'all. And I promised Olivia not to tell you-"

"What?! You knew Olivia!" Melinda yelled.

"It wasn't just her Melinda. Kennedy made-" Fin interjected.

"You all knew!" Melinda said.

"Mom please stop, it's not their fault. I made them promise not to tell you!" Kennedy pleaded.

"Kennedy wait for me down stairs!" Melinda shouted.

"But mom-"

"I said go down stairs!" Melinda voiced in the sternest voice that made Olivia feel as if she was a child again.

"Melinda you know as much as I do that she needs to get to a hospital for a rape kit."

"I know what she needs Olivia!" She begins to walk towards the elevator where Kennedy stood terrified. She then quickly turned on her heels to say, "You're off this case Olivia! I don't want you or anybody else near my daughter! I would have excepted this from Elliot, but not you Olivia!" She then entered the elevator and the squad watched as they left the corridor.

* * *

The detectives sat silently and drank their beers, wines, and cocktails. No one knew what to say, and with out her rape kit Captain sent them all home for the night.

"So how long you've been working with Melinda?" the new detective Nick asked while trying to break the silence at the table. Olivia rolled her eyes, heaved a heavy sigh and walked over to the bar to order a stronger drink.

"I've been working with her for about ten years now." Fin answered. Amaro, Fin, and Munch began to small talk while Amanda just stared back and forth from her drink to Olivia and back again. She knew Olivia was upset about the confrontation, but at the same time she felt bad for Melinda as well. She decided it was getting late and she should head on home. She gulped down the rest of her beer, threw a couple bucks on the table, and said goodnight to the boys before walking over to Olivia. "I'm gonna head on out Olivia. See you tomorrow." She smiled.

"I'll walk you out. I could use the fresh air."

The two ladies walk out of the bar into the warm breezy autumn weather. Olivia attempted to hail a cab "It's okay I'm just gonna take the subway." Amanda spoke after the third cab drove by them. "You sure?" Olivia asked. "Yeah. I'm not that far from here." Her blue eyes gazed at her chestnut hair blowing in the wind. She watched as Olivia concentrated on the street before them still looking for a cab. Her thoughts were interrupted by Olivia's voice "Get home safe Amanda." Olivia smiled and heading back towards the bar. She watched carefully as the detective walked down the stairs and back into to bar leaving her scent lingering in the air around her.

Amanda thought nonstop about Olivia on her journey home. She didn't want to but she couldn't help herself. She loved the way Olivia smiled when she was nervous, the way she chewed on the bottom of her lip when she was reading something interesting or doing her research, the way her eyes flickered when she was anger, the way she was always late on Wednesday mornings cause she would pick up doughnuts for everyone. Everything about Olivia made Amanda's heart skip a beat. She was angry with herself for allowing herself to feel this way about a woman who definitely didn't feel the same way about her. Amanda began to feel as if she was going insane in her apartment and decided it was never to late to go for a jog. She threw on some old soccer shorts and a grey t-shirt and headed out the door. She walked pass her doorman into the dark night and began to jog towards Central Park. She was passing by the subway station when she heard her name called. She looked down the stairs and saw the detective walking up towards her.

"Hey" she huffed "what are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd stop by." Her head cocked and a mischievously smile crawled across her face. Olivia closed the space in between them. Their lips met and Amanda could feel the electricity between them. She pulled away and allowed the rest of the world back in their space. "I can't I'm sorry Olivia." Her eyes searched Amanda's face but found no answers. "What… What are we even doing? Like what is this between us? You can't keep using me like I'm your toy! I'm NOT Olivia! I'm a human with feelings real feelings."

Olivia starred at the blonde detective her cheeks flushed red with anger. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to say.

"You're unbelievable." Amanda hissed and began to walk away. Olivia grabbed her wrist "Amanda I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way anyway about… me." She hesitated to say.

"I know I should've said something sooner, but I just feel like I couldn't… I didn't know what to say."

Olivia took a deep breath "I just don't want to get hurt Amanda."

"I would never hurt you," she declared. Their fingers intertwined with each other. "How about we head back to my place." Amanda allured.


	6. Chapter 6

BattleField

Chapter 6

Olivia walked Amanda back to her apartment; she kissed her on her cheek "Goodnight Amanda" she smiled. "Didn't you want to come up?"

"No." she smiled "But how about I pick you up Saturday about 730?" Amanda's smile gave Olivia all the answers she was looking for. Olivia gave her another peck on the cheek before leaving.

* * *

The team met in Cragen's office the next morning.

"What's the plan?" Cragen looked around at his detectives. "We need to talk to Kennedy." Amanda's voice broke through the silence in the room.

"But how? Melinda's not going to let us anywhere near her daughter." Nick said.

"Doesn't matter she a victim and we still need her statement." Cragen applied. "Olivia, Fin go get a statement from Kennedy and try to tell Melinda to let us do our jobs. Rollins, Nick try and find out as much as you can on the Oliver family. I want to know everything down to how much they pay for soap," he ordered.

Olivia and Fin arrived at the brownstone of the Warner's. Fin knocked on the door and waited, no answer, he then again knocked on the door and heard Melinda yell, "I'm coming" from the other side.

"What do you want? Her rape kit is done its down at my office. So leave us alone!" she stated as to opening the door.

"Melinda just let us talk to her. You know as much as I do that we gotta get a statement." Fin declared.

"I think you've done enough talking as it is." She glared down at Olivia.

"Look Melinda we're not going anywhere and neither is her case if you don't let us do our job." Olivia voiced.

Melinda sighed and opened to door to them "Come to the den" she ordered. They walked through the beautiful lit hallway, the cream colored walls were decorated with family photos. They walked into the den and waited for Kennedy. Olivia looked around the beautifully designed room. It had light hardwood floors with a brown sofa decorated with light brown pillows. A long dark wooden table stood in front of them with a couple of health and home magazines laying on it. Two single leather chairs sat on each side making a nice comfy half circle around their brick fireplace. "Hey" the soft voice of Kennedy tore threw the silence in the house. Olivia gave her a grin and stood up "How are you?"

"She's fine." Melinda answered their eyes met. Olivia had never seen Melinda this mad at her. "Mom can we have a minute?" Kennedy asked.

"But-"

"Mom. Please."

Melinda starred at her young broken baby girl then at Olivia and Fin "Okay I'll go make some tea."

"Okay." She waited patiently for her mother to exit the room before closing the sliding wood doors behind her. "So what do you want to know?"

"Everything, let's start from the beginning. What did you do earlier that day?" Olivia asked.

"Nothing unusual I would say. I went to dorm to get somethings so I could stay home for a few days. I talked to a few people. Then right when I got off campus I was snatched into an alley and raped… again."

"How do you know it was the same man from before?"

"He stuck his fingers down my throat again and beat me continuously until I was unconscious. That's not a coincidence." She flared.

"Who did you speak to before you left?"

"Umm Libby, Nikki, Scott, Liam, Dale, and our Dean."

"Do you remember who you had contact with before the first attack?"

"Probably the same people other than the Dean. And Liam the only reason I talked to him was because he's in my chem class and I needed the notes, and he's pretty much the only person who actually takes notes. Other than that just some guys from the band."

"Alright we're going to talk to you later."

"Why? Do you think something I said gave you a lead?"

"We just have to tie up some loose ends."

"Do you think it's someone I know?" she cried.

"I…I don't know."

Olivia and Fin walked themselves out. "What's buggin ya Liv?" Fin questioned. "Let's go and talk to the people she had contact with before both attacks."

The detectives first found Liam walking into the library when they first arrived at the schools campus.

"Hey Liam, got some questions for you. You remember me and this is Detective Tutuola."

"I really need to be studying I have a huge calculus test tomorrow."

"Won't be long." Fin interjected

"When was the last time you spoke to Kennedy Warner?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know a couple of weeks ago. Like I said we're not "friends"."

"How about last week! Twice!" Fin indicted.

"Okay whatever."

"And why did you stop talking to her again?" Olivia asked.

"Like I said before she stopped talking to me!" he yelled.

"Right we'll be in touch."

"Let's get back to the house." Olivia pronounced.

"What about the other kids?"

"Don't need them. Liam told Amanda and I he stopped talking to all his friends after his mother died. Nothing about Kennedy not talking to him."

"Okay?"

"Maybe theirs a link between the mother and Kennedy."

They both hopped into the vehicle and headed back to the 1-6.

It was late afternoon when Fin and Olivia arrived back at the precinct. They found Munch, Amanda and Nick looking through files around the table. "Welcome back! Hope your day has been better than ours" Munch said. "May have got something for ya. Olivia thinks that there may be a connection between Mrs. Oliver and Kennedy."

"None that we could find. Marci Oliver died of ovarian cancer. They found the tumor when she lost her eight-week-old fetus. Under went multiple surgeries and two years of radiation and chemotherapy before she passed." Detective Amaro recited.

"I found something connecting the families" Amanda yelped. All the detectives stop and starred at the youthful detective. "Marci's surgeon was Richard Warner, Melinda's husband!"

"This just keeps getting better and better. Olivia you and Amaro go talk to Dr. Warner. Rollins, Fin go talk to Mr. Oliver and see what he knows." Cragen ordered

* * *

Fin and Amanda arrived at an old war-building apartment in Morningside Heights. They knocked on apartment 6c and came across a late thirties red haired man at the door. "Can I help you?"

"Riley Oliver, Detective Tutuola my partner Detective Rollins. We have some questions to ask you about your wife's death."

"Marci? Um sure come on in."

The detectives walked into the open apartment lay out. Riley walked over to the kitchen "Can I get you something to drink?"

"No thank you. Mr. Oliver when did your wife find out she had cancer?"

"Please call me Riley. Marci wanted more kids she wanted a daughter she got pregnant soon after we had discussed the subject. She was so happy and excited to have another baby around. She woke me up one night crying about how much pain she was in. I was going to help her out of bed when I saw the pool of blood around her. That's when I just decided it would be faster just to call 911. We went to St. Luke's Hospital and the said she had had a miscarriage. She was still in so much they did an ultrasound and a pelvic exam and they took some tissue samples about a week later the diagnosed her with type three ovarian cancer. They referred us to the Sloan- Kettering Cancer Center and Dr. Warner became her surgeon."

"Dr. Richard Warner correct?" Amanda interjected

"Yeah."

"And how was he? Throughout the process?"

"He was great. Umm." His eyes watered up "He convinced Marci to have the surgery. I didn't want her to have it. She could have lived another two three years with the cancer, but she wanted the surgery. And I obeyed her wishes. She dyed on his table."

"Did you guys ever argue about the surgery?"

"A couple of times. The risk were just too high."

"Did you son Liam ever talk about how he felt about everything?" Fin asked.

"He never really spoke his mind. He was angry. Not at anyone particular just at the situation. He was never really the same kid after Marci died. He threw himself into his school work."

"What about friends?" Amanda questioned.

"He stopped talking to everyone."

* * *

Olivia and Nick waited for Richard in his office at the hospital. About fifteen minutes went by before a lean six-foot tall man walked into the room wearing scrubs. "Detectives, sorry about the wait, just got out of surgery. What can I do for you today?"

"We wanted to ask you about a case you work a while back a Marci Oliver."

"Ahh Marci yes I remember the case well, but you know as much as I do that I can't discuss her case with you. Doctor patient confidentiality still applies to the patient even after death."

"Yes we know that Dr. Warner. But we were wondering more about her son." Olivia explained.

"Liam?"

"You know him?" Nick asked.

"Never can forget him. After Marci passed away he blamed me for her death."

"Why's that?" Nick questioned.

"I'm sorry I-"

"Confidentiality we know. What happened?"

"I'll tell you the kids got a good right hook. Hit me so hard I almost blacked out."

"He was violent with you?"

"Yeah. As much as I hate to say it took me and another male doctor to calm him down

The team made their ways back down to the squad room. Alex was already there waiting when Olivia and Nick walked in. "Hey, do we have enough for a warrant?" Olivia directed at Alex.

"Hardly, it's all circumstantial. Unless you have something connecting him and Kennedy my hands are tied."

"Consular you didn't come all the way down here just to tell us that." Cragen declared.

"No, Liam was never questioned about the assault against Dr. Warner. Bring him in shake him up a little bit and hope that he'll say something that'll put him at the crime scene."

The detectives did as they were told and brought Liam in for questioning. Olivia and Fin questioned Liam while the other watched.

"Why'd you attack Dr. Warner?" Fin interrogated.

"How would you feel if a some guy cam along and killed your mother?"

"He didn't kill her, she died on his table during surgery."

"The surgery he wanted her to have!" he jumped up "My mother would be still alive if her didn't talk to her about that stupid surgery! SHE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE!"

"Do you know the risk women have with living with ovarian cancer?" Olivia asked "Constant pain, sitting, standing, and laying down pain. Persistent nausea, weight gain, lack of energy."

"She could have dealt with that alive!"

"She could have, but she chose to have surgery."

"After she talked to that stupid Warner she didn't have a chose!"

"Is that why you stopped talking to Kennedy?"

"I asked her to talk to her father to get him to change my moms mind. She "forgot", her stupid band friends laughed at me. She just walked away."

"I was so upset I just could talk to her anymore. SHE COULD HAVE HELP!" He yelled and began to pace the room.

Meanwhile in Cragen's office Kennedy was called in to collaborate with Liam's story.

"Yeah, I remember that, but I never forgot about him. I talked to my dad that night. My band had a gig the night before and I ended up not even going home and completely forgot about it until I saw Liam again. I tried to get my dad to change his moms mind, but he just kept telling me that it was her decision to make not his. I tried to talk to Liam the next day after our chem class but he wouldn't listen to me and ever since then her never really talked to. Until last week. He asked me how I was doing."

"Before or after your attack?" Amanda asked

"It was after. I was leaving campus. " A long silence filled the room. "Was- He was" Kennedy tried to force the word out but her tears refused for any sound to come out. She began to weep and gasp for air.

"Kennedy you need to calm down." Amanda tired to relax the girl.

"How can I calm down when Liam- Oh my god. It was Liam."

"Now we can't prove that he's he one who raped you." Cragen indicated.

"What!? Why!?"

"There's not enough evidence against him."

"Well can I do something?"

"You could talk to him. Try and get him talking about his anger towards you and your family and hope he slips up."

"What about the DNA they found in my rape kit can't we just run his against the one they found?"

"Not until we get probable cause to take his DNA."

Kennedy heaved a heavy sigh and rubbed her forehead "Okay. I'll do it, I'll talk to him."

Kennedy slowly walked into the interrogation room

"What is she doing here?" Liam snapped

"I just want to talk to you" Kennedy said in the most settle voice that even Olivia believed that she knew nothing about what was going on. Cragen motioned for the detectives to leave the room.

"Shouldn't you be out with your family destroying other peoples lives?"

"Why do you think I'm such a bad person?"

"Cause you had a chance to make a difference and you didn't! You did nothing!"

"I tried Liam. I tried to talk to my dad about your mom's case and he basically told me to bud out. Why do you hate me so much?"

"Cause you're just like your family. You think you can control everything and everyone around you and get everything you want!"

"Are you kidding me! You don't even know me. Trust me if things always went my way I wouldn't have gotten raped!" she whimpered.

"Poor little black girl raped on the street."

Kennedy starred at the boy smirking back at her. She could feel her hands become sweaty and the hairs on the back of her neck rise up.

"Let's be serious here Kennedy. You know as much as I do that my DNA is all over each crime scene. How does it feel to be ripped of your pride and sanity."

"Why me?"

"Well I was pissed and you were always around being perfect while I was miserable! YOU KNEW WHAT YOUR FATHER DID AND PRETENDED LIKE IT WAS NOTHING! SO YES I RAPED YOU TWICE! My only regret is that I didn't kill you. Then your dad could have felt the emptiness that I felt when he took my mother from me.

"Liam Oliver, You're under arrest for the Rape of Kennedy Warner" Olivia said while walking back into the room.

* * *

As the crew left another long day Olivia walked with Amanda down to the street. "You wanna grab some dinner with me?" Olivia asked Amanda while stepping out onto the slight chilly night. "Right now? I thought we were doing Saturday?"

"Well if you wanna wait…" Olivia joked

"No, dinner would be nice." Amanda smiled.


	7. Chapter 7

**Note To Readers: **I know this chapter is a bit short, but it will blow you away. And you'll probably hate me at the end. Sowrry!

BattleField

Chapter 7

Olivia kept her promise and took Amanda out to one of her favorite little bistros down in Murray Hill. They sat and talked about work, their likes and dislike, and Amanda talked about growing up in Georgia. This time Amanda walked/rode the train with Olivia back to her apartment. "This was nice. We should do it again sometime." Amanda sheepishly confessed. "Definitely" Olivia replied smiling at the blonde haired women. Amanda then wrapped her arms around Olivia's head and back and deeply kissed the women. The feeling of Amanda's soft lips tracing over hers made her body shiver. She wrapped her arms around Amanda's waist and closed the remaining space between them. The taste of Amanda's cherry chap stick made Olivia smirk. She remembered watching her multiple times apply and re-apply her chap stick. Finally in need of air Amanda broke the kiss. Her smiling eyes looked into Olivia's "I'll see ya tomorrow." Amanda whispered. "You will?" she questioned "I will" she smiled and gave her a kiss on her cheek and continued to her apartment.

For the next few weeks the two women were inseparable. Other than working on different cases, outside of work the women showed each other new things everyday. Although Olivia was more of the restaurant guru Amanda loved to take her out to Central park for a picnic and down to the beach and boardwalk. The two women had fallen head over heels for each other and anyone with eyes could see that.

It was about 3am when a phone call woke up both Amanda and Olivia "Ugh it's me" Amanda said before answering the call. Olivia turned over to face her girlfriend "Cragen?" "Yup a case in Long Island City." She said whilst getting out of her warm cozy bed. Olivia began to get up as well "You don't have to leave." Amanda stated "But I-" "I'll leave my key. I'll see you later on today. Go back to sleep" She said and pecked her on the lips before entering the bathroom.

Amanda grabbed a cup of coffee at the bodega on her way to the train station. When arriving at the scene she saw Fin and marched right up to him. "What do we have?" "Three year-old girl sexually assaulted and killed." "You talk to the parents yet?" "That's the problem no one around here knows who she is." "You think the parents are good for this?" "Won't know til we talk to them."

"Your Jane Doe might have a first name. Marci" A short red haired women said while walking over to Fin and Amanda. "Hi Kelsea Stummer your temporary M.E."

"Where's Melinda?" Amanda asked

"Took some time off, spend it with her family."

"I can only imagine."

"So what else did you call us all the way out here in the middle of the night for?" Fin mandated.

"Well based on what I can see externally she's been being abused for a while."

"How longs a while?" Fin asked

"Won't know until I open her up. But you see the bruises on her legs and look at this" she turned the young child over "her back covered. Here she was wearing this bracelet with her name on it."

"How do you know it's her name?" Amanda questioned

"I don't, that's for you to find out. See those initials there this is a custom made piece."

Fin and Amanda grabbed some breakfast before heading back to the precinct. It was about 6am and Amanda decided to take a quick nap before everyone arrived. Fin agreed to wake her up in about an hour if she wasn't awake and logged onto his computer to begin he research on the young girl.

* * *

Olivia woke up again at 7am she looked around the empty apartment. She knew the apartment well but never had she been left alone in it. She got up and made Amanda's bed and then went into the restroom. She took a quick shower and got dressed before going into the kitchen. On the counter she saw the keys and next to them a note that read

'Mornin sunshine! Hope you slept well I'll see you at work. Coffee is in the cabinet right behind you. See ya soon

~Amanda'

She couldn't help but smile and giggle at the adorable message. She then quickly made herself some coffee and headed out the door.

When Olivia got to the precinct she noticed that Amanda wasn't at her desk. Fin saw her looking around and quickly told her that she was resting in the cribs. Olivia grinned and placed Amanda's keys on her desk and began to walk to the back of the precinct. She opened the door and saw the young blonde resting on the bottom bunk. She walked around and sat on the bed. The movement immediately woke Amanda up "Morning beautiful." Olivia smiled. "Hey. What time is it?" "10 to eight." "Ugh" she groaned "Fin is a horrible alarm clock." She plopped herself up on her elbows and Olivia gave the blue eyed women a warm sweet gentle kiss. "Thank you for that beautiful morning message." "I only wish I could have stayed the whole night." Amanda beamed. "What's the case?" Amanda exhaled and stood up "three year old African American girl found assaulted and beaten. Only thing we know is that her name might be Marci we found her wearing a bracelet with that name. Couldn't really follow up on anything because everything is still closed at that time of the morning. So we got a long day ahead."

"Well come on I think Munch just put on a fresh pot of coffee."

The two detectives walked out of the cribs and went over to the coffee pot. "Hey Amanda I think I might have something on that bracelet."

"Okay. I'll see ya later" Amanda grinned.

Olivia nodded and went back to her coffee.

* * *

Fin drove them up to East 81st street to the well known Carter and Forbes jewelry store in Manhattan. Upon entrance he questioned the jeweler about the piece they found on the little girl.

"Ahh yes, a custom piece." He said

"Can you tell us who purchased it?" Fin asked

" Why yes of course. One moment."

A few minutes later the lean man came back with a paper that gave the parents name and address:

'Mr. & Mrs. O'Donnolley : W 77th St. New York NY.'

The detectives thanked the man for his services and went on their way to the O'Donnolley's home.

* * *

Olivia was off in court on a case with a sixteen-year-old girl who was raped at gunpoint at her school. The jury was quick when making their verdict of guilty, and Olivia was ready to leave by lunch time.

"Hey Liv!" The bright-eyed tall blonde ADA called out.

"Hey Alex." She hugged her "How have you been?"

"Good good. How are you? Wanna grab a bit?"

"Sure" she smiled.

The two women went across the street to a small Italian restaurant. "You're gleaming." Alex smirked

"I started seeing someone."

"That's great! Do I know who she is?"

"Yes, but we're not quit there yet. It's new." She couldn't help but sheepishly smile every time she thought about Amanda.

"Look at you!"

"What?"

"You're like a school girl."

"Well-"

"Do think you could fall in love with her?"

"I don't know… Maybe… yeah."

"That's great Liv! I want you to be happy."

"Thank you. So what about you? How are thing with you and Addison was it?"

"Well we're on and off. Right now we're off."

"What happened?"

"She thinks I'm moving too slow. She wants to move in I don't want her to move in. She wants me to meet the parents. I don't want to meet the parents. Yada yada yada."

Olivia giggled "You were always a tough cookie."

"Not with you." She smirked and grabbed her hand. "We could still pick things up."

"No we couldn't. You know as much as I do that things will never be the same."

The two ladies finished their lunches and Alex went with Olivia back to the precinct. They stepped out of the elevator into the corridor and Alex grabbed Olivia's arm "You know it you give me on chance just one date I could change your mind about me. About us." She then leaned in and kissed the brunette women. Olivia could help but feel the connection they use to have. Alex broke the kiss after a few seconds and looked deeply into Olivia's lustful eyes. "I'll see you later" Alex whispered. Olivia watched her enter the elevator and deeply exhaled at the mess she just created. Amanda watched the ordeal unravel at the entrance of the squad room. Her eyes filled with tears. When Olivia finally turned around her heart sank.

"Amanda-"

"I have to go" she stormed down the stairs of the building. She couldn't believe that she let this happen to herself again. She was pissed, angry, confused, and hurt all at the same time. She went down to bar in alphabet city and sat at the nearest stool she could find. "Tequila on the rocks and keep'em comin" she ordered. Her phone began to ring and she looked at the bright screen the read 'Liv' and declined the call and turned her cellphone off.

Olivia couldn't believe herself. She gulped down her tears right as Fin entered the corridor. "Where's Amanda go?"

"Emergency. What's up?"

"Got a lead on something you free?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

Olivia hopped in the passengers' side of Fin's car and they began their trip to Brooklyn. "has Amanda seemed different lately?" "Happier when she's with you." Fin joked. Olivia exhaled and leaned back in her seat. "You alright?"

"I really fucked up."

"How so?"

"Let's just say I had a moment of uncertainty and she saw it."

"Talk to her."

"If only I could find her."

* * *

Amanda was on her 12th shot and 4th beer. She couldn't get the image of Olivia kissing Alex out of her mind.

"Can I buy you a drink?" A blonde haired green eyed female said while sitting next to her.

"No." she barked

"Long day?"

"Nice work detective."

"Hey being mad at the world isn't going to help you feel better." She got up

"Ya leavin?"

"Not if you don't want me too."

"I guess I could use the company. You like tequila?"

"Yeah." She sat back down and ordered a round of shot for her and Amanda.

"Amanda. Amanda Rollins." She introduced herself.

"Dani….. Dani Beck. Nice to meet you." She grinned.


	8. Chapter 8

BattleField

Chapter 8

The day turned into night and Amanda went on and on about who she was dating/working with and the whole situation that had happened previously that day.

"Wow that's pretty fucked up." Dani said

"I know. I just don't know what to do, what to feel. Like I have to see her everyday ya know."

"Yeah. Have you talked to her about it?"

Amanda chuckled "Hell no. I don't even want to see her let alone talk to her."

"It could help."

"She kissed another female." She starred deep into Dani's green eyes "The lust in her eyes told me everything I needed to know."

"Trust me I know these things can be complicated, but don't let one mistake ruin your whole relationship."

Amanda heaved a heavy sigh and got up form the stool. "It's late I'm gonna head home." She slurred and headed out the door. Dani grabbed her jacket from off the chair and ran out after her "Wait!" Amanda turned around "Let me at least help you home." "I don't need your help." She mumbled, "You know as much as I do that I'm not going to let you roam around New York drunk in the middle of the night." Amanda starred at the women long and hard "Fine". Dani smiled and grabbed a cab. She helped her in and Amanda gave the driver her address.

They arrived at her place a little after one am. Dani helped her up the stairs and Amanda opened the door to her apartment. She immediately noticed the light on in the living room and grabbed for her gun, Dani followed behind her until Amanda stopped dead in her tracks. "What is it?" Dani asked

"How'd you get in her?" Amanda voiced

"I asked for the key downstairs-" she stopped and glared at Dani when she cam from behind the wall.

"You've gota be kidding me Amanda" Olivia yelled

"She's who you were talking about at the bar? This is your girlfriend?" Dani asked Amanda.

"Yeah, why do you guys-" she stopped and thought for a moment "Fuck you Olivia!"

"What?! Fuck you! I made one mistake and you go and bring another female home?!"

"She FUCK you too Dani?" she turned and asked her

"Whoo whoo I'm not her to-"

"What does it matter to you! You clearly have no feelings for ME in this!" She yelled at Olivia "How'd you two meet? She pick you up at bar with a fake name too?" She asked Dani

"That's not fair Amanda and you know it!"

"god Olivia who haven't you opened your legs to in this town?"

Silence swept across the apartment.

"Here's your spare key back." Olivia placed the key on the table and walked out the door. Amanda looked up at the ceiling in effort to try and hold back the tears.

"I'm really sorry. I-I- I only knew her cause I worked in SVU for a few weeks a couple years ago and I work with Elliot. I didn't meet her until after I left. We never-"

"Just go." She sniffled.

* * *

Olivia stormed out of the building and began to walk to her apartment. It had gotten chilly but she was to upset to sit on a train for ten minutes and just decided to walk the twenty blocks back to her apartment. 'How could Amanda even say the things she said to me?' Olivia thought. Her mind was racing and she was confused, pissed, and heartbroken all at once. She didn't know how to handle the way she felt. She had never felt this hurt since Alex and she didn't even realize how much she really felt for Amanda until tonight. She slowly began to smile a bit when all of a sudden she was hit in the back of the head with a blunt object. She immediately blacked out and fell to the ground. A man walking by saw the events taking place and called 911 "HEY!" the man yelled "I'M CALLING THE COPS!" the men ran off as quick as possible before their faces could be seen.

"911 what's your emergency?"

"Hey a woman's been attack on 11th and between West 50th and 51st. Oh my god uhh uh s-she's a cop."

Amanda awoke from her deep slumber to her cell phone ringing on the floor. She leaned over the side of her bed and slowly searched the floor till she found her jeans she was wearing earlier that night and reached in the pocket for her ringing cell phone. She quickly noticed Cragen's name on the brightly lit screen. "Ugh! I'm not working tonight Cap." She said to herself as she silenced the phone and went back to sleep. Not two minutes later she heard her phone ringing again. This time she decided to answer "Hello?" she grudged. She slowly began to rise out of bed as Cragen explained to her what had happened to Olivia.

"I'm on my way."

Amanda arrived at Roosevelt Hospital around 430. She instantly spotted Cragen, Amaro, Fin, and, Munch as soon as she entered the ER.

"What happened? Is she okay?" she worriedly said to the group.

"We haven't heard anything from the doctor yet, Amanda." Nick stared down into his cup of coffee.

"I meant WHAT happened to her?! How'd she get here?" he blood-shot eyes stared at Nick fiercely

"Some punks hit her in the back of the head with a bat and continuously kicked and punched her until some by-passer called 911 saw her badge." Cragen commented. The double doors opened and a short brunette female doctor called "Olivia Benson" "Right here" Cragen raised his finger.

"Doctor Patel-"

"How is she?" Amanda interrupted.

"Stable. She took some really bad hits to her ribs, stomach, and head. She has some severe brain swelling. We gave her an IV and put her on oxygen. Now all we can do is watch her carefully until she wakes up. Other than that her other wounds will heal over time."

"Other wounds?" Munch questioned.

"She has three broken ribs and some slight internal bleeding in her stomach that we're watching."

"Can we see her?" Amanda forlornly asked.

"Sure." Doctor Patel smiled "she's in room 612."

The detective's rod up to the sixth floor walked around the corner to the ICU and found room 12. They all walked into Olivia's hospital room; Amanda found herself stuck at the door unable to go any further. Her body ached all she could stare at was her broken girlfriend. She loved her and hated her all at the same time. She began to tear up when Cragen's voice pierced through her ears "Okay. Go home everyone get a bit of rest I'll see you all back at work nine am." Everyone left the room and began to go home; Amanda just stood there watching. "Don't worry about coming in tomorrow. Try and get some rest." "Thanks Cap." She whispered. Right there she was alone just herself, Olivia's body, and her thoughts. She pulled up the chair on the left side of Olivia's bed. She sat down and let out a long exhale. She then heard a knock at the door, it was Fin. "You need me to bring you anything from your apartment?" He asked. "Uhhh yeah." She hesitated while scratching her forehead. "Here's the key. I have a uhh black duffle bag in my closet on the floor. It has everything I'll need in it. Thanks Fin." "No problem."

She once again sat staring at Olivia wondering what she was thinking of dreaming of. Her mind went crazy with how scarred she must have been. "This is my fault" Amanda spoke to Olivia "I shouldn't have said those things to you. You wouldn't have stormed out and… walked home." She wept up. "I'm sorry. For being so stupid." She leaned back in her chair "Everything's gonna be different. You're going to be different. GOD!" She banged her head against the chair "Why did I have to make such a big deal over a stupid kiss! I fuck everything up. I should have told you that Olivia. This shouldn't have happened." She starred at Olivia and grabbed her hand. It was soft and warm; she intertwined their finger "What are we doing Olivia?" She heard a knock and saw Fin at the door with her duffle bag. "Thanks." "No problem. How's she doin'?" "Fine I'm guessing." "How are you doing?"

She swallowed hard "I've been better." She forced herself to grin hoping that this dreadful conversation would end. "You should go home. Get some rest." "Yeah, I'll check on you later on." "Yeah okay" she grinned again. Soon after Fin left Amanda plopped down in the chair and opened the duffle bag and began to rummage through the bag. She pulled out a large flask. She quickly opened the flask and took a long drag of the whiskey contained inside. She sat back and felt nothing. She didn't know if she was sad, mad, regretful, pissed. She was stuck in this limbo of emotions that she didn't know what to do with. She needed someone to talk too; so she grabbed her phone and made a quick phone call.

"I'll be right there." The voice at the other end of the phone said.

About thirty minutes later a knock on the door arose Amanda from her thoughts. "Hey thanks for coming. I know it's early and I'm so so sorry-"

"Don't worry about it. Shit happens right?"

Amanda smiled "Thank you Dani."

She doesn't remember falling asleep, but was awaken by a nurse "Sorry did I wake you?" He asked "I'm Marcus. I'll be Olivia's day nurse."

"What time is it?" She looked around the now bright room confusedly.

"It's about 12:30."

"Ugh" she rubbed her face "How is she?"

"Doing well. We're pretty positive she'll wake up today. The swelling in her brain has gone down significantly. And I'll be removing her oxygen next. Are you her umm…. Significant other?" He asked.

"No." Amanda exhaled " I don't know what I am. Where's your coffee?"

"Sorry none up here in ICU. There's a Starbucks down on the first floor."

Amanda began her walk down to the first floor and made a phone call to Cragen telling him the good news. She then texted Dani 'Thanks for the company earlier this morning. What time did you leave?' She steepped out of the elevator onto the first floor and let out a big yawn before spotting Starbucks in the far right corner of the lobby. She then ordered her coffee and was on her way back up to the ICU. She ran into Fin, Munch, and Cragen upstairs in the hallway to Olivia's room. "Who's working?" Amanda joked "I got some rookies to cover for today." Cragen said. When they got back to the room Olivia's oxygen mask was gone and doctor Patel was in the room. "How's our girl doing doc?" Munch asked. "She's waking up." Doctor Patel nodded over to Olivia. Everyone watched as Olivia slowly began to open her eyes. Amanda stood in front of the bed; she couldn't help but smile. She was so happy to see those brunette eyes again. Olivia slowly blinked her eyes; "Now she's not quit lucid yet. So she doesn't know about anything." Doctor Patel spoke.

"A-A-A"

"I'm right here Liv." Amanda sat down next to her side.

"Alex."


	9. Chapter 9

**NOTE TO READERS: **I'm so so so SO sorry that I haven't been able to update in a while. People who know me and follow me on any of my social networks know how long of a month March was. Anywho, I'm so terrible sorry about the long wait, but I promise I'm gonna try and do better in the future! Hope you all enjoy the update!

* * *

BattleField

Chapter 9

Olivia woke up the next day in a room filled with flowers and small gifts from the hospital gift shop downstairs. "Welcome back Olivia." An unfamiliar voice said at the end of Olivia's bed. "I'm Doctor Patel. Do you know what year it is Ms. Benson?" she questioned.

"Uh, 2012." She gurgled.

"Good, good. Do you know where you are?"

"A hospital I assume." She said while trying her best to sit up "Ah-" she snapped.

"Be careful. You're still healing. You have three broken ribs. We'll keep you over night to observe you, but tomorrow you'll definitely be back home. Do you have someone who can help you while you're healing?"

"Uhmm. Yeah I can find someone."

"Good. You won't be able to work for at least a month. And I want you to do the least amount of moving you can for about another week. Okay?"

"Yeah. Sounds ahh great."

"Good I'll check in on you in a while."

* * *

Amanda was sitting at her desk working on paperwork when Nick came over and leaned against the left side of her desk. "How ya doin?" he asked.

"Fine." She sneered

"Yeah, well I know at the hospital you-"

"I said I'm fine. Can we drop it?!"

Nick looked over at Fin and he just shook his head "Yeah… sorry I brought it up." The day was dreadfully slow. Every five minutes Amanda would look up at the clock waiting and waiting for the workday to be over with. Cases came in and everyone went on like a normal day at work, but Amanda couldn't take her mind off of Olivia. She cared deeply for her and she convinced herself that she might even love her but she could go back to that hospital. She knew that Olivia didn't mean to say Alex when she woke up. Her life wasn't a bad romantic comedy or romance movie. She thought to herself 'What if she would have been announced brain dead or died.' So many scenarios raced through her head and she couldn't escape from them.

By lunchtime she convinced herself that she would call Olivia. She yearned to hear her voice again. Her body was itching to feel her touch. To kiss her lips, even if it was the last kiss she would ever get. She hated that she needed her so much, but she did. She slowly picked up the phone and dialed the number to Olivia's hospital room. She breathed deeply as her heart pounded in her chest. She could feel her stomach twisting and turning. She was happy she didn't eat anything cause it sure would have come back up. The shattering sweetness of Olivia's voice broke through the silence in Amanda ear. "Hello?" she answered.

Her body stiffened, her breath instantaneously stopped, she couldn't find any words left in her mind to say anything. She held onto the phone for a couple more of Olivia's hellos before hanging up the phone.

She jumped up from her desk and walked quickly to the ladies room. She splashed some water over her face, but couldn't keep the tears from streaming down her face. She gasped for air and grabbed some tissues to wipe her face. "I'm so sorry Liv. Oh my god. I'm so sorry." She kept repeating to herself in the mirror. A few minutes later she heard her phone beep, it was a text from Dani.

'Hey wanna meet later for drinks?'

'Sure.' Amanda replied. She took a couple of deep breaths and walked back out to her desk. She could feel the eyes of burning on her skin. She looked over at Nick then Fin whom were both staring at her "What? I can't go to the bathroom."

* * *

Olivia limped into her apartment and steadily made her way over to her couch. Alex hurried to put down her bags and help Liv get comfy. "You need anything?" Alex asked. "Something to do." she chuckled. "You need to rest. I'm gonna go and bring you some food. Then I have to get to court, but I'll check on you as soon as I'm out." "Okay. I'll call you if I need anything."

Alex left and Olivia found herself extremely bored and feeling extremely lonely. She flipped on the television to rid the emptiness she was feeling. Nothing was on so she flipped over to the news and grabbed her phone off the near by table. She deeply inhaled and began a text to Amanda.

'Hey…'

She didn't know what to say or why Amanda wasn't there, but she missed her and she wanted her there with her. She erased the text message and typed

'I need you.'

"What's wrong with me?" she spoke aloud to herself. "She's not gonna want to speak to me or see me for that matter. God." She sighed.

Olivia tossed and turned all night. Her ribs were killing her, but the pain of being alone hurt more. She had slept in the same bed alone for many years and couldn't understand the strangeness she was feeling. She was a stranger in her own apartment.

She woke the next morning to a rumble in her kitchen. She grabbed her gun from the bedside table and limped her way out of her bedroom. She immediately pointed her gun at the intruder when she stepped around the corner. Her heart raced and her breath was soon gone and her stomach made it's way up to her throat as tears began to form in her now large widened brown eyes.

"What are you doing here?" she muttered while lowering her gun.

"I thought you could use some breakfast." Amanda smiled from behind the fridge door. Amanda could feel the hurt from Olivia in the air around her. She slowly closed the fridge door placed the eggs on the counter and walk over to Olivia. "I'm so sorry Liv." She whispered while taking the gun out of Olivia's hand. Olivia began to slightly cry; then suddenly grab her side. The crying and standing was to much for her broken ribs; Amanda grabbed her by the hip and slowly led her over to her couch. Once seated Olivia wept. She was never one to cry over simple things, but she could help think about how much pain she was in physically and emotionally. Amanda kneeled on the floor next to her and grabbed her. She wrapped Olivia tightly around her. Olivia hated that she was there. She hated that she wanted her there. She cried into Amanda's shoulder for what seemed a lifetime. She felt drained and exhausted. Amanda lifted Olivia's head and deeply kissed the brunette. Olivia loved the softness of her lips and the taste of her cherry chapstick the always lingered after a kiss. She then suddenly felt a sharp pain as if someone had stabbed her in the side. It was that moment she woke up.

Olivia confusedly looked around her room as if she was in a place she had never seen before. "It was just a dream" she spoke aloud to herself. She stumbled her way to her living room where she found herself alone. She then took a deep breath and laid back against her couch. Mesmerized by her own thoughts she heard the key turn to door. For a brief moment all her being was praying that it would be Amanda, yet her mind knew better. In walked Alex wearing a black dress over coated with a brown trench coat. Her hair was pulled back into a pony tail and she wore her glasses and a pair of black leather gloves. "Morning! I brought some coffee and bagels. How are you feeling?"

"Fine." Olivia groaned

"You sure? Cause I can call in and skip court tod-"

"No no. I'm fine. Just a little pain." Olivia forced herself to smile. She knew that Alex could read her like a book, but she didn't want to talk to her about how absolutely miserable she was that Amanda wasn't here with her.

Alex made her way over to Olivia and kneeled beside her

"Hey, if something's bothering you or you need anything you know you can talk to me. I'm here Liv and I'm not going anywhere."

Olivia stared deeply into Alex's eyes. She gently moved closer to her until their lips met. Olivia could taste the coffee she had been drinking previously. Alex felt a shocking chill race down her spine. She hadn't felt the softness of Olivia's lips since she left for the Congo. She leaned in deeper into their embrace tenderly wrapping her arms around Olivia waist. As their tongues entwined around each others the need for air broke their lips clasp. Alex glazed deep into Olivia dark brown eyes. She knew what she wanted "I have to be in court." She huffed "I'll be back at lunch." She kissed Olivia once more then turned and made her way back over to the kitchen. She grabbed her keys and her coffee and looked back over at Olivia still sitting on the couch, motionless. She gave her a quick wink, a smile, and left.

* * *

Amanda met with Dani at a new pub downtown. Mostly cops and a few others mixed in. They sat a table close to the bar and a television that was playing the eleven o'clock news.

"So have you talked to her yet?" Dani inquired while sipping on a budlight.

Amanda chuckled "What do I say? Sorry I got so pissed at you that you left and then got assaulted? No, I can't even message her."

"You know she's thinking about you."

"Yeah, how much she hates me." Amanda gulped "What am I going to do when she comes back to work?"

"You need to talk to her. Before she comes back to work. Look, I don't know Olivia that well but of what you told me she's head over heels for you, and the fact that you haven't even called to check in on her… She's hurt and she's wondering where you are."

"How do you know?"

"I had a similar situation with my husband. Before we were married we had got into a fight one night before I went on duty. Anyway, I had got shot, nothing serious, but I got shot and I didn't hear from him for almost two days. Finally this bastard comes to my hospital room barring flowers and saying how sorry he was. I was just happy he was there, ya know? Those couple of days all I could think about was him. If her knew what had happened. If he cared. But when he showed up nothing else matter."

Amanda sighed and leaned back in her chair. Dani then felt her phone vibrate "Hey I gotta run. You should go see Olivia, call, something. Dani smiled then proceeded out of the pub.

Amanda was once again left alone with her thoughts, something she'd been avoiding all week. She wanted to see Liv, but so much of her was convinced that Liv didn't want to see her. She decided that she would make a decision to see Olivia the next morning after a goodnights rest. She finished her beer, threw some cash on the table and went home.

The next morning Amanda woke up feeling relatively well. She shuffled her way to her bathroom and hopped in the shower. She washed her hair with the Jasmine shampoo Olivia loved; then soaped down and jumped out. She quickly put on some navy blue jeans, a dark green long sleeve shirt, and an old pair of black boots. She grabbed her leather jacket from the closet snatched her keys from the kitchen counter and headed out the door. She rode over to Olivia's place not knowing what she was going to say or what or how Olivia was going to react, but she knew that she was going to finally see her again. She picked up a cup of coffee after getting off the subway and began the short walk to Olivia's building. She looked up at the building wondering if she was even awake yet. Shaking her head she took a deep breath knowing that She couldn't turn back. Furthermore, she took off across the street heart pounding and all. Amanda immediately stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Alex leaving the building she was indeed herself about to enter into. She turned around as quickly as possible avoiding the other blonde women. Realizing that she wasn't spotted she rushed to hale a cab and get to work.

* * *

Olivia returned to work the following Monday. Still not being able to work in the field she was just happy to be out of her apartment. Warm hugs and smiles warmed Olivia's heart when coming into the precinct that morning. Luckily Cragen had given her a mountain of paperwork to keep her occupied for the next week. Not soon after she arrived she watched as all her colleagues went about their morning following up on cases and heading out to court.

"Hey Fin." She quietly called out as he was walking out on his way to court.

"Wassup?"

"Little goldie locks out sick today or something?" she nonchalantly tried her best to ask without feeling hurt.

"Ooh naw. She text me this morning told me she'd meet me at court. We should be back by lunch." He grinned.

"No rush. Good luck."

It was a quarter to one o'clock by the time Fin and Amanda made their way back to the precinct. Amanda walked as slowly as she could out the elevator through the corridor. She took a deep breath and walk as naturally as she could to her desk. "Welcome back." She greeted and shot Olivia a quick grin. Olivia smiled for a brief moment; she followed her from the moment she walked in to when she sat down at the desk. She was so baffled and puzzled she wasn't sure what to say to her, but she knew she needed to talk with her. She rose from her desk well on her way to speak with Amanda. She was stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Alex approach her from the corridor.

"Hey." Olivia chimed.

"Hey. How ya doing? Your firs day back and all." Alex asked.

"Uhh… I'm doing. What are you doing here?"

"Just came to check in on you. You wanna grab a late lunch?"

"No.. no. I'm just gonna grab a cup of coffee."

"You need to eat Liv" she insisted

"No I had a um sandwich earlier, so I'm just not that hungry." She leered.

"Okay. I'll see you after work. Take it easy okay?"

"Sure thing see you later."

Alex quickly looked around then gently gave Olivia a kiss on the cheek. "See ya later." Alex then turned and walked towards Cragen's office. Not thinking that anyone saw their affection Olivia turned on her heels and walked over to the coffee pot in the corner of the room.

Amanda watched as her heart broke into a thousand little pieces. She watched Alex kiss Olivia and she saw the look on their faces. The attachment that they had with each other was unbearable. She quickly turned back around to her desk and finished her paperwork without a peep for the rest of the day.

* * *

Dani swiftly walked into Mulligan's Bar and immediately spotted Amanda at a far table in the back of the bar. "Hey. What's up?" she greeted Amanda with much worry in her voice.

"She's gone."

"What? Who!"

"Olivia." She groaned "She's back with Alex."

"You sure?"

Amanda nodded "I lost her… to Alex" she cried.

"What happened?"

"She kissed her… on the cheek, but they kissed and the care and devotion in their eyes. She gone." Amanda explained while wiping a falling tear off her face.


	10. Chapter 10

BattleField

Chapter 10

A few months had gone by since Olivia and Alex had gotten back together. The squad hadn't really figured out what had happened between the two detectives. Amanda was dreadfully hurt but never showed. She stayed professional and built a wall between whom she was at work and who she use to be when she was with Olivia. It was an early breezy September morning Amanda was already hard at work on some paperwork due on one of her child molestation cases when Olivia arrived. To avoid eye contact, which she much often tried, she went over to pour herself another cup of coffee. Soon the familiar smell of warm sensual amber infused her nose and for a spilt second she closed her eyes and briefly inhaled. "Morning." Olivia acknowledged Amanda while pouring her morning coffee. Amanda quickly snapped her eyes back open, "Mornin'" she flatly greeted before walking back over to her desk. "Who's up?" Cragen walked from behind the door of his office into the squad room.

"I'm due in court." Nick shrugged

"I'm free Cap." Rollins quickly volunteered, hoping to get out of the precinct on her own for a while.

"Okay you and Fin ta-"

"Ooh Fin's with his son. Some kinda family thing today."

"Okay you and Benson head over to Gracie Square Hospital."

"Rape victim?" Olivia chimed in; Cragen nodded. "What the hell happened to her?"

"Don't know yet. Get over there and take a statement." He directed.

Amanda grabbed her coat from her chair and headed to the elevators with Olivia. "What's so wrong with Gracie Square Hospital?" she asked.

"G.S.H. is a mental hospital." She exhaled.

* * *

The detectives took a long quiet drive up to East 76th street. The tension in the car was almost unbearable. Olivia turned on the radio to cut some of the tightness in the air. Although it didn't help much she was somewhat grateful that she got to work again with Amanda. Finally a long forty-five minutes later they arrived in the lobby of G.S.H. "Hi detective Rollins and my partner detective Benson we're here to see an Allison Hutchinson." Amanda disclosed. The guard gave them their visitor badges and led them up the elevator to the adolescent wing on the third floor of the hospital. There they walked down a long white hallway, went through a locked door and then took a quick right to another locked door before entering the ward. He then left them with one of the floors nurses who escorted them to a semi private room. There sat a thin light brown haired young girl with hazel eyes at a small table. She wore a hospital gown and hospital socks. Her eyes were empty. Olivia immediately noticed how lifeless the girl was. "She's so young and so sad," Olivia thought to herself. "Hey Allison. I'm detective Benson and this is detective Rollins. Can you tell us how you got here?" Olivia's gentle voice gave Amanda chills down her spine. "They… they didn't believe me." tears filled the girls eyes "She sent me back here!" she shouted. "Who did Allison?" Olivia searched her face for answers yet found nothing. "MY SISTER!" the girl broke down and wept. "Stupid bitch. She didn't even believe me when I told her about Jack. He was so nice."

"Whose Jack honey?" Amanda questioned.

"Jack Turner, my brother in law. He just moved to New York. He was nice and played guitar and he was teaching me-" she then stop. Olivia could tell in her eyes that she was reliving the entire ordeal. "Allison, did he rape you?" Olivia kindly asked. Allison sniffled and wiped the tears away from her face. "He ruined me. He said that I wanted it. That I seduced HIM! I told my sister soon after it happened and she said that I was crazy and delusional and told me to get over myself." Allison then began to hyperventilate a few nurses ran in to assist the young girl "Detectives you're going to have to come back at a later time." One nurse ordered.

The detectives proceed out the room and down the hallway to back to the nurses' station. Suddenly the door swung open and a tall brunette woman with light brown eyes stormed in. The guard rolled his eyes and made his way back down to the lobby. "I'm here to see Allison H," the women meanly demanded. "Hi detective Rollins. What's your relation with Allison?" she questioned. "I'm her sister Alexis. Why are you here?" She hissed. "Your sister was sexual assaulted and-" "She told you the same story? Look Allison has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, along with many others. This isn't the first time she lied on someone to get attention."

"Well in my experience as a special victims detective most mentally ill patients don't lie about sexual abuse." Amanda explained.

"Yeah well you don't know Allison."

"I know that she was raped and she needs to have a rape kit done immediately. She should be seeing a therapist not locked up in some mental hospital." Amanda snapped. "Yeah and I know that she needs to have a guardian with her when you guys talk to her. So don't come back here again."

"Actually that only applies when we're questioning a victim. We're just taking her statement." Olivia spoke softly. The woman stared coldly at the detectives. "You can see your sister now Ms. Wilder," a nurse broke through the silence between the three women.

The two women proceeded back down to their car, "What the hell was that?" Olivia commanded. "What?" Amanda hissed. "Arguing with the family isn't something that will help us in this investigation hun-"

"Don't call me that! You lost that right Olivia." She barked. Amanda stared out the window. Olivia made her way up to East 88th street to the brownstone of Alexis Wilder. They went down the stairs to the second entrance and knocked on the door. "Jack Turner open up police." Olivia yelled while banging on the door a second time. A few seconds later the door opened up, an average looking young man with brown hair and brown eyes revealed behind the screen door. "Hi Jack Turner?" Olivia asked "Yeah?" "Detective Benson detective Rollins can you step outside? We'd like to ask you a few questions about your upstairs neighbors." "Sure thing" he replied and stepped outside. Immediately following Amanda grabbed his arms and had him in cuffs "Jack Turner you're under arrest for the rape of Allison Hutchinson-"

"RAPE! What?! I didn't rape her!"

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights as I have explained them to you?" Amanda commanded.

Back at the 1-6 the two detectives interrogated Jack.

"Where were you yesterday afternoon?" Olivia asked

"I played field hockey with guys in central park then I came home around 4:30 was there the rest of the night."

"Alone?" Amanda snapped

"No. Alexis and Allison we're both home. Allison came down about 5:30 for her guitar lesson."

"So you were alone with Allison?" Olivia inquired

"Yeah for about an hour- she said I raped her!? I NEVER touched her!"

"Why is it that I believe the sixteen year old girl stuck in a mental hospital instead of you, Jack?" Amanda sassed

"Look I'm telling the truth! Take my DNA give me a lie detector test. I don't care. I didn't touch her!"

A knock on the window behind them disturbed their conversation and both detectives left the interrogation room. There on the other side of the glass stood Casey Novak in a black shirt suit with a light blue button up shirt on leaving a few buttons undone at the top. "Casey, what are you doing here?" Olivia said surprised that she was here. "Alex got caught up in a few other cases." She stared at Olivia with a look that told her that Alex called in a favor since they we're seeing each other again. "Welcome back."

"So what do you think about little Jack here?"

"I think he knows we haven't been able to get Allison's rape kit since she's in Gracie Square."

"Not anymore Allison's been transferred to Bellevue. She demanded to have a rape kit done. Liv make sure it gets hand delivered to our lab. Rollins go ahead and get this guys DNA. Keep him on ice for awhile." Cragen interrupted.

* * *

Later that evening both women were working when Olivia remembered what the nurse had called Alexis. She jumped up and walked over to Amanda's desk. "Hey remember when the nurse came to get Alexis?" She asked. "Yeah." Amanda replied without looking up from her computer. "She called her Wilder. So she's either married or the sisters have different fathers." Amanda began to type very quickly on her computer. Olivia knew that look on her face. She knew that Amanda could look up anything on anyone. She calmly waited for a few minutes, "She's was married. Her husband Sam Wilder was a doctor in the Army. Apparently a suicide bomber killed him earlier this year. He was only twenty-six… Holy hell look at this. Jack Turner is Sam Wilder." Amanda pulled up a military picture of what seemed to be Jack. Olivia starred at Amanda starring at the picture. Unsure about what was going on Alex walked up to Olivia and touched her shoulder. A bit frightened she quickly turned around to see Alex's smiling face. "Scarred ya." She grinned "You ready to go?" "What… yeah. We just hit a little bump in our case, but nothing we can do about it tonight." She turned to Amanda "We'll question him first thing in the morning?" she requested. "Sure" Amanda mumbled. "See ya in the morning." She then grabbed her coat and purse along with a few case files scattered on her desk and preceded out the squad room.

Amanda stayed and continued her research long into the evening. She couldn't find much on Sam, however he was legally dead. "Who the hell are you Jack?" Amanda thought aloud to herself. She was just about to throw in the towel when she noticed the mole on the side of Sam's neck. She hadn't remembered seeing the mole on Jack and that's when it hit her. She immediately grabbed her phone and sent a text to Olivia

'Hey are you still up?' almost immediately following her phone vibrated and her screen lit up with a message back. 'yeah couldn't sleep, just going over some paperwork. Wassup?'

'Jack isn't Sam. They're twins'

Olivia starred at her screen in awe 'Be there in 15 mins.'

Olivia rushed into the squad room; Amanda could tell that she had left as soon as possible she was wearing jeans, sneakers, a grey v-neck and her black jacket. Olivia dashed across the floor over to the coffee pot where Amanda was standing, "Twins?!" she sounded astonished and worried at the same time. "Yeah. Sam Wilder born September 4th 1989 at 4:33am, and Jack Wilder born September 4th 1989 4:38am. Jack switched his last name to his mother's maiden name after they're parents divorced in 2001. The father was abusive to the mother, but nothing on record of the boys ever being abused."

"And here I was thinking he was an absolute psychopath when really he's just a rapist."

"If that."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I looked into Sam's military file and his body was never recovered. They assumed he was burned to death since the found his dog tags, but what if he's AWOL?"

"Yeah, but why would he hurt Allison?"

"Let's ask."

"It's too late now to go to Gracie; we'll have to wait until morning."

"Yeah." Silence grew between the two detectives. Tension filled the air and Amanda was itching to know "Why did you come her Liv?" she blurted out. "I could just sent this information to you, you didn't have to come all the way down here." She ranted.

"I just-" She look at Amanda's deep blue eyes. She loved it when Amanda became passionate about something; her eyes told the story of everything she's wasn't saying and Olivia knew just how to read her. "I wanted to see you. I'll admit it. I'm sorry Amanda. For hurting you and making you hate me. For falling in love with you, I'm sorry. And I wish-"

"Do you love her?" she interrupted.

"What?"

"Are you in love with Alex?"

She stared at her for a few moments and took a deep breath "No. I thought I could with our history and all, but no. I don't love her. I can't love her like I love you. I miss you, I need you, and I love y- "Before she could finish her sentence Amanda's warm vanilla lips meet Olivia's; Amanda wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck, Olivia lead the young detective to the cribs. Amanda's back hit the back of the door when it closed and she locked the lock before being thrown on the first bed in the room. Olivia climbed on top of Amanda and immediately removed the blonde woman's shirt exposing her flat abs and a black lace bra she was wearing. As Olivia kissed down the side of her neck Amanda removed her bra and helped Olivia out of her top. Amanda looked up with lush filled eyes; she ripped Olivia's bra off and immediately began to suck on her left breast while foundling her right. Olivia moaned in delight. She slowly brought Amanda's lips back to hers. Their tongues melted together like warm chocolate. Amanda soon pulled away "Show me how much you love me." She demanded. Olivia got up swiftly removed Amanda's jeans and then took off her own. She straddled Amanda on the edge of the bed and rubbed her fingers just above Amanda's slit. After a few seconds she finally snaked two fingers down into Amanda's wet folds. Amanda's body began to shake. Olivia slowly thrusted in and out of Amanda she shortly laid her back down and began to suck on her delectable nipple. Amanda wrapped both arms around Olivia's waist and enjoyed the wild sensations. Amanda's vagina was on fire, as Olivia messaged it stroking up and down sliding her fingers into her and then toying with her clit before repeating the process all over again. There was a rhythm to her sucking and fingering lead Amanda to her edge. Olivia looked deeply into the her lover's ocean blue eyes. She forced another finger in Amanda's soaking vagina, Amanda moaned out in ecstasy. She raised her hips and felt the orgasm building deep within her. She screamed in bliss and her whole body shuddered. She was sensitive and satisfied, but Olivia kept going. She kept right at it. With three fingers still being forced inside her dripping folds it didn't take Amanda long before she was cumming like a waterfall. Both women laid for a second catching their breathes. "Spread your legs" Amanda's southern sprawl lingered in Olivia's ears. She did as she was told and laid back on the bed, she could feel Amanda's hot breath and hair teasing her inner thighs. Amanda moved slowly and kissed her vagina all over and then nibbled on her outer lips. Olivia moaned and reached down to stroke her blonde glossy hair. She looked up in appreciation then went back to work. She licked and sucked at Olivia. She was so wet she easily slid two fingers her while sucking her clit. She knew that this drove Olivia crazy. She felt the older detectives body become stiff she screamed out in pleasure while riding out her orgasm. "No no" Olivia moaned just as Amanda was going to start up again. Amanda climbed up and passionately kissed her partner. Amanda watched as Olivia gently closed her eyes she kissed up her neck and nibbled on her ear for a moment. Olivia giggled and turned to look at Amanda. "You should go." Amanda whispered. " "I know." she kissed the blonde woman again before getting up to retrieve her clothes. The two lovers walked each other out and went their separate ways home.

* * *

The morning Amanda walked into a full squad room. "What's got you in such a good mood?" Nick joked "Nothin'" she smiled. She marched over to the coffee pot to make herself a fresh cup. She glanced over at Olivia working on some paperwork. She knew that this affair could last, but she was going to enjoy just a little bit more of the ride. She walked over to her desk and took her coat off when a tall woman with black curly hair and bright green eyes walked in. the woman was thin yet curvy. She wore red lip stick in a tight black dress with black heels. She covered herself in a long pea coat. "Ooh fuck" Amanda thought her eyes widened and she immediately noticed Olivia's wonder in her eyes. "Can I help you?" Olivia got up and walked over to the dark haired woman. "I'm lookin' for her!" she pointed over to Amanda her southern voice was even deeper than Amanda's. Olivia could tell that she knew her from Atlanta. "Shit Cheryl can we not do this here!" She attempted to yell at her quietly. "Where ya want me Manda?! I come back from Texas and I hear you up and move to New York. Ya mama told where ya were. UYou should call're she worried bout cha. And ya know I can deal with the whole separation thing, you tryin' to find ya self. But then I get divorce papers! Now you know my daddy don't believe in no-" "CHERYL!" the squad room fell dead quiet all eyes were on them. "Amanda who is this?" Olivia snapped. "They don't even know manda, do they?" Amanda stared angrily at the black haired women. Olivia have never seen her so angry before; not even at her. "Amanda Luci Delilah Rollins! You answer me!" "Can we not do tis here please!" The woman turned around to see Olivia, Fin, Nick, and Munch standing right behind her. " I'm Cheryl Rollins," she turned to face Amanda "Amanda's wife."


	11. Chapter 11

BattleField

Chapter 11

Amanda pulled Cheryl into an open interrogation room "WHAT THE HELL CHERYL! This is my JOB!"

"Please manda I been tryin' to call you fer months. Seems like ya job is all you'll pay attention too. Did I get yer attention yet?"

"You're outta your goddamn mind!"

"Well if ya come on home-"

"Sign the damn papers Cheryl! It ain't that hard!"

"Why are you doin this to me?"

"To you?! I wanted to do this as settle as possible. You're the one coming in here causin hell." She stared coldly at her former love. Looking down at the table she took a deep breath "I couldn't loved you forever, you know that." She whispered. Just then a knock on the door revealed Fin's concerned face "Captain wants to see you."

"Be right there" she took a deep sigh "Look this is my job and you can't be here. Can we please continue this later tonight, please?" Cheryl rolled her eyes grab her purse and headed for the elevators "That's one hell of a mess" Fin chimed in

"You have no idea."

"How come you never told me you was married?"

"Ya never asked." She laughed. They walked back into the precinct all eyes were burned onto Amanda. She took a brief look around and headed straight to Cragen's office. "Look Cap I'm sorry I didn't even know she was in town none the less here I just-"

"Take a day." He commanded

"I don't need a day, Cap I'm fine."

"Are you sure cause we got a rape victim in a mental hospital and two suspects who happen to be twins-"

"Which you wouldn't have known yet without me. I can do my job."

"Okay… You and Olivia get back down to Gracie Square and find out more on Jack and Sam."

* * *

The detectives rode quietly for a while "I'm sorry" Amanda apologized

"For what? I don't know everything about you nor do you know everything about me. I understand Amanda."

"No you don't, cause if you did you wouldn't be so hurt right now."

"Of course I'm hurt. You loved someone so much you took vows. You got married; you did the whole honeymoon and newlyweds everything. You had a life with somebody else. A happy life."

"She cheated on me." Amanda glanced over at Olivia and then back at the traffic on the road. "Yep we had just moved in and I though everything was going well. It was soon after I had made detective. I was working a lot trying to prove myself and she was out screwing our neighbor. Our married neighbor, our straight married neighbor with kids. So I got home late one night really late about three am and there they were wrapped in each other's arms in our bed; like it was perfectly normal. I just went back to work slept in the cribs. The next afternoon I had cooled down enough so when I saw her I didn't have the feeling of punching her in the face. We argued and thing spun down hill. We acted happy around our families because it made them happy, but we've been divorced long before I sent her those papers. It wasn't a sudden change nor should it had been some kind of surprise to her."

"How long have you guys known each other?" Olivia asked

"She moved to Georgia when we were in 9th grade. Something with her dads company got a transfer from Texas. We didn't start dating until our junior year. We were seventeen. By twenty-one we had moved in together she was artist, sculpting was her thing. I brought her this shed that I surprised her with in our backyard it was her own studio right at home. We I got married when we turned twenty-two September 27th 2004. It was June 3rd 06' that I found them in bed. I gave her divorce papers in 09'. It's been three years and she still won't sign them.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. That's why I didn't tell anybody legally yeah I'm married, but I'm not married."

"Do you still love her?"

"I miss the idea of her, but no my love for her is gone. It left the moment I saw them together, and it kept deteriorating every time I saw them together after I found out about their affair."

Amanda parked the car across the street from Gracie Square. She gave Olivia a quick smirk and got out the car.

The two women walked into the day room at GSH. They found Allison sitting in the corner looking out a locked window. "Hey Allison. Remember us?" Olivia spoke

"Why are you back here? If my sister sees you-"

"Don't worry about her. We came to ask you some questions about Jack… and Sam." Allison's eyes sprung to look up at Olivia.

"Sam's dead."

"What do you remember about him?"

"He my sister got married a few years ago. He didn't really like me much. Said I was around too much. I didn't have a lot of friends so I stayed home a lot. He didn't like that. Him and Jack use to fight a lot."

"About what?"

"Brother things, rent, Jack getting a "real" job. That kind of stuff."

"How did Sam die?"

"The police said that a suicide bomb on the side of the road killed his command. Alexis never even cried."

"About Sam?"

"Yeah the entire time we planned the funeral and everything she never cried." Olivia looked up at Amanda questionably both detective knew something wasn't right. "She just.."

"Just what honey?" Amanda asked

"She's been acting really strange ever since. Everyone has."

"Everyone as in your sister and-"

"Jack."

Amada grabbed her phone and dialed up Fin "Hey, I'm working on the Hutchinson case; do you know who went over the crime scene?" Amanda questioned

"She was taken to Gracie before anyone could even examine her or the crime scene. They say her sister brought her there. We don't even know where the crime scene was."

"Shit, alright I'll call ya back."

Amanda hung up the phone and turned back to face Olivia and Allison. She kneeled down by Allison's side "Allison where were you raped?"

Tears formed in the young girls eyes "My bedroom" she cried.

"We'll be back Allison; don't worry we're gonna get you out of here." Olivia quirked. The both walked back down to the car "We gotta get a search warrant for that house." Olivia exclaimed "Already on it." Amanda said while calling Cragen.

They met Fin and Nick up at the Brownstone on East 88th. With warrant in hand the detectives banged on the front door. Alexis soon answered after a few more knocks "Who the hell- detectives." Alexis covered herself with her robe.

"Alexis Wilder we have a warrant to search the premises." Olivia commanded whilst entering the brownstone.

"What?! You can't do this."

"Your house is a crime scene. Why didn't you say anything about Allison being raped in her own house?"

"Because she wasn't raped! You people are wasting your time! HEY YOU CAN'T GO UP THERE!" she yelled at Fin and Olivia walking to the second floor.

"Look lady let us do our job and stay out of our way or we'll have you arrested." Fin ordered. "Which room is Allison's" Olivia ordered.

"Does it matter you're not going to find anything!" "We'll be the judge of that." Olivia pushed open a dark brown wood door at the end of the hallway.

"Wait No!" Alexis yelled

"Oh my god." Olivia huffed. Amanda rushed up the stairs to see what the fuss was about.

"Get up!" Olivia demanded

"You were sleeping with your brother-in-law?" Fin questioned.

"No." Amanda interrupted "She was sleeping with her husband. The mole."

* * *

The four detectives made their way back to the precinct Fin and Amanda took interrogation room one with Alexis while Nick and Olivia took room two with Sam.

"Look I didn't do anything wrong." Alexis explained.

"You've been hiding your AWOL husband, who possible raped your sister!"

"She wasn't raped!"

"You've got to be kidding me. You're still on this bid. When are you going to just admit that your husband raped your baby sister."

"No he didn't-"

"You were suppose to be there to protect her. She looked up to you and you move her to a mental hospital."

"Did she tell you that she's been off her meds for the past two months!"

"Does it matter! She said she was raped you should have believed her! You should be there at the hospital with her holding her hand not trying to push it under the rug!"

"HE'S IN LOVE WITH HER!" she belted "Every night every since he came home he was drunk and horny. He wanted kids and he knew that I could NEVER give them to him. So one night we were talking and he was saying how we could have a child it could still be our child."

"He wanted to impregnate Allison."

"He said he was doing it for us, but really he was doing it for himself. He loved her and I HATED everything about her. He was drunk and being very aggressive so I let him have her! Better her than me, right? I couldn't control him anymore."

"So you let him snake into your sister room and rape her. And since she was off her meds you were just going to leave her there in that mental hospital. What about Jack?"

"What about him? The only thing he knew was that his brother wasn't dead. He knew he was AWOL; he just didn't want anything to do with it."

The detectives finished up their paperwork and sent Alexis down to central booking. The military came to pick up Sam. "Headed home?" Fin chuckled at Amanda "No. I'm off to meet Cheryl. Try and convince her to sign these papers." "Good luck." Fin smiled and walked out the precinct.

"On your way home?" Amanda asked Olivia

"No over to Alex's place."

"Ooh okay."

"I think it's time for me and her to have a little chat."

"Your breaking-up with her?"

"Yeah. I am. Maybe we could have a do over."

"Yeah. I gotta go. Walk me out."

"Ooh yeah."

The detectives walked out into the cold autumn air.

"Good luck Amanda."

"Thanks. You too."

The women smiled and went their separate ways.

* * *

Amanda walked a few blocks over to a small French café on Broadway. She saw Cheryl seated by the window inside. She wore the tight red dress that Amanda loved on her with her red heels. Her long straightened hair was pulled into a tight ponytail her bangs straightened in her eyes ending just above her bright green eyes. He make-up was done perfectly as if she had hired someone from the movies to personally do it for this occasion. Amanda took a deep breath and walked inside. She loosed her jacket and sat across the table from her wife.

"Thanks fer meeting me here."

"Like I had a choice." Silence grew between the women. Amanda stared at her former lovers face as if she were reliving all the moments of happiness and then all of a sudden a tear burned deep inside her eyes as if she began to relive all the sadness. She took another deep breath "Why won't you just sign the papers Cher?" she chocked back her tears.

"Cause then… then its over. All of it; its all over."

"Don't you see babe. We've been over. I've been- we've been unhappy for years. Years Cheryl! Why won't you just let me go?"

"Cause I'm still in love with you and I know I screwed up baby, but I promise you that… I can't breath without'cha. Or imagine waking up every morning and not seeing ya beautiful face. It literally hurts to stay in Georgia knowin yer not there! Everywhere I go there's a memory of us. We're a tem and I screwed that up. I know Manda, but please please just let me have a clean slate. Give'me another chance. I promise I won't hurt ya."

"I felt the same way… when I was in Georgia. Everywhere I went there you were, but not with me no, you were with her. Everything I thought we had was all just lie and I went over every detail every night fer years thinkin what did I do wrong, when it wasn't me. It was you Cheryl. You broke my heart Cheryl, don't you see that. This everything is just breaking my heart. You don't think I would love to start over with you, but I can't trust ya, and I can't be with someone I can't trust. Someone I judge now because of her past. I can't Cheryl. I love you, but I can't love you no more. Sign the papers."

Cheryl wiped the tears from her face and slowly pulled out the divorce papers from her purse.

"You gotta pen?" she asked

Amanda pulled a black pen from her bag. She slowly watched as Cheryl signed her name on the dotted line. She placed the pen down and looked up at Amanda's wet face. She couldn't hold the tears back any longer. The weight of being married was finally gone. Cheryl got put on her coat and started to walk out the restaurant. She stopped beside Amanda "I'm sorry manda. I love you. I'll always love you." She leaned down and gently kissed Amanda's warm lips. She could taste the salt from her tears. She wiped Amanda's face and proceeded out. Amanda sat starring at the divorce papers. She placed the papers in her bag and left the restaurant.


	12. Chapter 12

**Note to Readers: **so sorry that it took me like a month to update. I recently moved back to New York and I've been trying to get my life back on track. However I do promise that this chapter will blow your mind and that chapter 13 will be posted soon. Thanks for sticking with me guys! Enjoy!

BattleField  
Chapter 12  
It was a quiet morning when all the detectives arrived at the precinct. A few minor cases with enough paperwork to keep them all busy for the rest of the year; Olivia was hard at work when Amanda came rushing in around 11:15. "Mornin'" she exhaled to the squad room. "Everything alright?" Fin asked with a bit of concern. "Yeah. I got a surprise call from my mother. She's flyin into town tonight. Surprise." She emphasized with an annoyed smirk. She plopped down in her chair and turned on her computer. She couldn't help but notice Olivia eyeballing her from her desk. She nonchalantly got up and went over to the coffee pot; Olivia soon followed after.  
"How'd it go last night?" Olivia questioned.  
"Rough, but" Amanda hesitated "she signed the papers."  
"That's what you wanted wasn't it?"  
"Yeah. I just… Now… it's done. It's over… we're over. It's like relief kinda. Bittersweet." A slight silence grew between the two detectives. "What about you and Alex?"  
Olivia sighed deeply "Not as planned. You wanna go to lunch… talk."  
"I just got here I don't think the cap-"  
"It's a slow day. They'll be okay." Amanda studied Olivia's desperate eyes. "Okay."

Olivia and Amanda went to a small salad bar in the upper west side, they sat at a near by window after the got their salads. "So what happened?" Amanda asked, "you clearly didn't break it off, you would have just said so. So what's going on?"  
Olivia took a long sip of water before answering Amanda's question. "Alex is sick."  
"What?"  
"She's been having a lot of pain in her pelvic and stomach and she's been light headed and I finally convinced her to go to the doctor…" Olivia exhaled, "they think that she might ovarian cancer."  
All Amanda could do was look dumbfounded at Olivia. She wasn't sure what to say or do; she just stared into Olivia brown eyes. "Is there anything I can do?" She found herself saying.  
"No" Olivia said while staring down at her coffee. Amanda always could tell when she was holding back tears; her voice became squeaky high and she could never look at her in the eyes. She knew that Olivia hated being seen crying. She always wanted to be known as strong, independent, and she did a good job at it; but Amanda knew that sometimes she just wanted to cry. "Hey it's okay." Amanda trembled.  
"No it's not. I- I can't leave her."  
"I understand that Liv. Be there for her. She needs you right now."  
"What about-"  
"I'll wait. I'll be right here when you need me. Promise."  
Olivia paid the bill and they walked back to Olivia's car a few blocks away. "You mean what you said in there?"  
"About waitin'? Yeah, I've waited this long haven't I?" Olivia smiled gently moving closer to the blonde woman. Amanda allowed the kiss to begin tasting the lingering coffee on Olivia's lips. "We can't do this?" Amanda cried out, "What happened with me and Cheryl I can't do that to another person. You either stay with her or be with me. I'm sorry Liv you can't have both."  
A few days had pasted since Olivia had told Amanda about Alex's health situation. Olivia was at home cooking stir-fry for Alex when she heard Alex scream. She rushed into her bedroom to find Alex crying on the edge of the bed. "Oh my god Alex what's wrong!" she yelled. She sat beside her and threw her around her shaking body. "The- the doctor just called. I have cancer!" She cried into Olivia's shoulder. Speechless Olivia held Alex until she could stop her from shaking. "Let me make you some tea." Olivia laid Alex on the bed and went back to the kitchen. She turned off the stovetop, made some tea, and rushed back to the bedroom. Alex was crying into their bed sheets when Olivia returned. She placed the hot tea on the bedside table the shuffled across the room to the other side of the bed. She held Alex in her arms until she cried herself to sleep in Olivia's arms.

Olivia laid there in the dark watching Alex. She felt horrible for her yet only wishing Amanda was there by her side. Her head was full of confusion; she didn't know if she wanted to end the relationship or not. In her situation how could she? She was stuck between a hard place and a rock. She slowly slide out of her bed and grab her phone and then walked out into the living room leaving the door a bit cracked so she could hear if Alex called for her. She looked back to make sure Alex was sleeping and dialed up Amanda. "Hey" Amanda answered after a few rings. "Hey." Olivia sniffled into the phone.  
"What happened?"  
"Alex doctor called and confirmed her cancer tonight."  
"Liv I'm so-"  
"It's fine…. It's not fin, but… she's gonna survive right? She has too."  
"She's gonna survive."  
"And what about us? Amanda this is gonna be a long road and I want to stand by her and be here for her so I-I'll understand if you want-"  
"I don't. I understand. I'm here for you Liv whenever, I care about you. I'm just a phone call away."  
"I care about you too Amanda."  
"Rest. I'll see ya tomorrow."  
"See you tomorrow."  
Olivia hung up the phone, tossed on some pajamas and resumed her position next to what she assumed was a sleeping Alex.  
"I'm so sorry Alex. I'm so so sorry." She whispered into the blonde's hair.

The next morning Olivia woke to an empty bedroom. She dragged herself out of bed and to the bathroom. She noticed it was foggy. She figured Alex had already taken a shower. She made her way to the kitchen where she found a yellow sticky note on the kitchen counter by the coffee pot  
'Early morning last minute meeting. Let's do dinner later tonight. See ya then.

Alex."

Olivia shrugged it off and went about her day as usual. A few cases came across her desk; spending most of her day out and about she decided to check in on Alex around lunch.  
'Hey babe, just checking in. How are you feeling?' Olivia quickly texted.  
Alex looked down at her phone she didn't want to talk to Olivia yet, after what she heard last night on the phone she felt hurt and angry. "I'm sick! How could Olivia do this to me?" she thought. Alex knew that this was long over due and knew what she had to do.  
'I'm fine a lot of meeting today. Dinner at Per Se tonight?'  
'What's the occasion?' Olivia almost immediately replied.  
When Alex didn't reply Olivia figured that she had rushed off to either another meeting or court.

Back at the squad room everyone was wrapping it up for the evening Amanda grabbed her keys and walked over to Olivia's desk where she was putting away some old files. "Hey you wanna go to dinner tonight? My moms in town and I would rather not go alone."  
"Meeting the mother eh?" Olivia chuckled "I wish I could, but Alex wanted to go out tonight so she's taking me to Per Se."  
"Nice. She's not gonna pop the question is she?"  
"No. I highly doubt it. Have fun tonight with your mom."  
"Thanks" Amanda moaned on her way out to the elevators."

Olivia rushed home and took a quick shower before changing into her favorite little black dress she knew drove Alex wild. She did a quick curling of her hair and put on some perfume before heading downtown to meet Alex.

Olivia arrived and was immediately greeted by the doorman and then the hostess who took the black trench coat gave her a number and lead her up the stairs to a small table in the rear of the room by the balcony where Alex was seated sipping on a glass of white wine. "Hey you!" Olivia greeted Alex with a small kiss on the cheeks, "You look gorgeous." She said. Alex was wearing a knee length eggplant pencil dress with a small black belt and black ankle boots. Her long curly blonde hair flowed down over her back and shoulders. "Like wise." She replied, "Drink?"  
"Yes! Red." She ordered.  
"Long day?"  
"Always. How are you? You left so early and I haven't heard from you all day."  
"Well you know lots of work and a lot on my mind." The waitress came and poured Olivia a large glass of red wine.  
"Have you thought about maybe taking some time off work?" she said sipping her glass of wine.  
"No!" Alex objected, "Right now working is the only thing keeping me together."  
Olivia looked deep into the ocean blue woman's eyes "What do mean?" she gulped.  
" Liv" she looked sadly at Olivia admiring every inch of her beautiful face. Then looked up at her light brown hair the glimpsed in the candle lit room. "I love you I'll always love you, and you mean the world to me, but I'm sick I'm really sick Liv," she chocked back her tears "And it's not fair to have you stay in this relationship with me-" she paused and wiped a few tears from her face "when you are so clearly in love with Amanda-"  
"Alex-"  
"No… It's okay. I understand. We'll be amazing friends." Alex sadly smiled.  
"I never wanted to hurt you," Olivia fought back tears "I don't want you to think I abandoned you."  
"I won't baby."  
"I loved you."  
"I loved you too."

The two women finished their meals and headed out; Olivia hailed Alex a cab "So call me when you have to go to the doctor or whenever."  
"You don't have to go with me Liv."  
"Yeah… I do." She smiled at Alex getting into the awaiting car.  
"I'll call you tomorrow."  
"Okay" she smiled down at the blonde. Olivia watched as the taxi slowly made it's way into the evening traffic. When the cab was no longer in sight she quickly hauled down the next one and jumped inside. "Where to?" the driver asked  
"94 West 75th street." She replied.

The driver took off racing down the streets, weaving in and out of traffic until they reached their final destination. Olivia quickly paid the man and hurried to catch the door an elderly woman was walking out of. Up the five-floor walk-up and down the hallway she banged on the door. Amanda quickly opened the door with urgency. Olivia could tell that she had just rushed from out of bed; there stood the petite blonde wearing nothing but an old falcons jersey and a pair of grey boxer shorts; her hair pulled off to the left side in a small French braid and her eyes filled with confusion and worry look at the women standing in her doorway. "Olivia?" she questioned while rubbing her right eye.  
"I'm so sorry! I'm so so sorry!" Olivia pushed her way through the door kissing Amanda hard on the lips. Amanda caught off guard fell backwards catching herself, and Olivia, on her wall.  
"Whoo whoo" Amanda whispered into Olivia's mouth. Olivia stopped and began to laugh uncontrollably. "Shhh!" Amanda tried to quiet the older detective. Olivia put both her hands over her mouth to try and silence her loud laughter. She couldn't control herself; unable to hold herself up any longer she leaned against the door and slide to the floor. Amanda closed the door and turned on the hallway light.  
"You know she actually broke up with me?" Olivia laughed hysterically  
"What?" Amanda shouted then looked around as if she was afraid someone could hear them.  
"Yeah Alex broke up with me!" Olivia laughed into her forearms and finally after a few moments she broke. The tears that she had hiding all night finally started to fall from her eyes. Amanda almost to tears herself sat next to Olivia lowering her head into her laps. Olivia cried into Amanda's lap as Amanda stroked her soft brown locks repeating, "Shh Shh Shh. It'll be okay."


End file.
